Saturday, February 28, 2009
♥ Love; Like
"One day you'll find that the pain's still there but it doesn't hurt quite so much.
But it doesn't ever really go away, does it?
No, it doesn't ever really go away."
people are always trying to figure out what is love and what is like,
i therefore conclude.
like is the short relationships/feelings we have for someone.
Love, a mere strong feeling that brings you up high for as long as it can hold.
Everything, will let you down in the end.
Read Let's Get Lost by sarra manning in bout 2 and a half hours tops.
awesome, totally what i was looking for.
sorta.
So, i'm still ill.
have a massive head ache and feeling uncomfortable..
thinking of lust and love.
it always starts from lust...does it?
well, it has to start somewhere...
I, am just stuck lost in the middle of somewhere.
I feel wasted, why do i feel wasted.
i can't even bloody do any homework or research..
everybody's out having a blast while i sit here like a totally loser.
Thank you Lord for condemning me into a total freak and retard.
UGH.
I HATE BEING AT THE TOP.
LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
I rather knew everybody and everybody didn't know me.
It's like, your life is some movie and EVERYONE's watching you and thinks your life is all pretty flowers, rainbows and ponies.
I'm so damn disgusted with myself.
Too cliche, the "pretty" face girl with a life that seems perfect to everyone.
Doesn't hurt, easy life, misunderstood.
UGH. Someone "up there" change the script already?!
I so need a life, i need to get out of these four walls.
GOSH, how cliche can i get?
I wish i could fade, disappear or die.
Either seems really really better than living.
well, tempp just went up. screw this. i'm dying.
YAY.
HALLELUJAH, ironic. i was suppsoed to go to church.
UGH. STRESS MUCH? Everybody's stressing......
for what? To die. I'm crapping again.
SHUCKS. better go. may update later.
nothing lasts forever,
you should know that by now.
tell me what you feel,
and convince me that it's real.
i don't want to be decieved,
and fooled when i believed.
it's just that words mean nothing,
ever since it started all this hurting.
nothing lasts forever,
you've should have known by now.
sarah.
xo, out.
Note to self:
1. need plain black/navy blue jacket for school.
2. WITH POCKETS.
3. go out with people.
4. stop rotting between these four walls.
5. get out of china happily.
6. don't date anyone if possible.
7. if not possible, find a good guy.
8. don't screw up yourself any further while staying here.
9. try to not be such a retard.
10. get a life.
But it doesn't ever really go away, does it?
No, it doesn't ever really go away."
people are always trying to figure out what is love and what is like,
i therefore conclude.
like is the short relationships/feelings we have for someone.
Love, a mere strong feeling that brings you up high for as long as it can hold.
Everything, will let you down in the end.
Read Let's Get Lost by sarra manning in bout 2 and a half hours tops.
awesome, totally what i was looking for.
sorta.
So, i'm still ill.
have a massive head ache and feeling uncomfortable..
thinking of lust and love.
it always starts from lust...does it?
well, it has to start somewhere...
I, am just stuck lost in the middle of somewhere.
I feel wasted, why do i feel wasted.
i can't even bloody do any homework or research..
everybody's out having a blast while i sit here like a totally loser.
Thank you Lord for condemning me into a total freak and retard.
UGH.
I HATE BEING AT THE TOP.
LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.
I rather knew everybody and everybody didn't know me.
It's like, your life is some movie and EVERYONE's watching you and thinks your life is all pretty flowers, rainbows and ponies.
I'm so damn disgusted with myself.
Too cliche, the "pretty" face girl with a life that seems perfect to everyone.
Doesn't hurt, easy life, misunderstood.
UGH. Someone "up there" change the script already?!
I so need a life, i need to get out of these four walls.
GOSH, how cliche can i get?
I wish i could fade, disappear or die.
Either seems really really better than living.
well, tempp just went up. screw this. i'm dying.
YAY.
HALLELUJAH, ironic. i was suppsoed to go to church.
UGH. STRESS MUCH? Everybody's stressing......
for what? To die. I'm crapping again.
SHUCKS. better go. may update later.
nothing lasts forever,
you should know that by now.
tell me what you feel,
and convince me that it's real.
i don't want to be decieved,
and fooled when i believed.
it's just that words mean nothing,
ever since it started all this hurting.
nothing lasts forever,
you've should have known by now.
sarah.
xo, out.
Note to self:
1. need plain black/navy blue jacket for school.
2. WITH POCKETS.
3. go out with people.
4. stop rotting between these four walls.
5. get out of china happily.
6. don't date anyone if possible.
7. if not possible, find a good guy.
8. don't screw up yourself any further while staying here.
9. try to not be such a retard.
10. get a life.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:07 PM
0 commented
5:07 PM
0 commented
Friday, February 27, 2009
♥ Let Love Fall Down
"there's nothing i could say to you, nothing i could ever do
to make you see, what you mean to me"
I am high.
or so i think.
ILL. i am ill.
i don't like being ill anymore.
Can't sing, shout, scream, annoy people, go high......
OH.
& there's the evillllll medicine that makes me feel dumb and i can't think..
and i just feel like sleeping.
ha.
Today's ting xie = FAILED.
no hundreds.
i'm gonna die.
yay me.
so friggin irritating?
Then english, watched more of the old R&J film.
DT = beading...
Lunch = slack.....
uhhhh. math = retardacy.
history = studying...
chem changed to Assembly = farewell VP.
How many VP's are there....i'm lost...
wth.
PLUS, i can barely use my brains now..processing very slowly...
ohoh. DumbBlondBrocolliHilary's sirname is LowNg.
&& she is deep for a dumb blond. So don't underestimate her airhead-ness.
Her retard-acy is also very infectious.
BEWARE.
I'm nuts.....
haha.
Something's wrong with me.
Stupid fever.
IT'S THE FEVER.
SRSLY.
sms-ed mutant after school.
sadness much.
need to make skype.....
talk to her......
and stuff........................
READ PRETTY THINGS. SO AWESOME. gays&straight people. haha.
more deets in private blog.
see ya suckers~
BE A CUPCAKE.
we're both nuts and because of my mental state,
i like you.
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
to make you see, what you mean to me"
I am high.
or so i think.
ILL. i am ill.
i don't like being ill anymore.
Can't sing, shout, scream, annoy people, go high......
OH.
& there's the evillllll medicine that makes me feel dumb and i can't think..
and i just feel like sleeping.
ha.
Today's ting xie = FAILED.
no hundreds.
i'm gonna die.
yay me.
so friggin irritating?
Then english, watched more of the old R&J film.
DT = beading...
Lunch = slack.....
uhhhh. math = retardacy.
history = studying...
chem changed to Assembly = farewell VP.
How many VP's are there....i'm lost...
wth.
PLUS, i can barely use my brains now..processing very slowly...
ohoh. DumbBlondBrocolliHilary's sirname is LowNg.
&& she is deep for a dumb blond. So don't underestimate her airhead-ness.
Her retard-acy is also very infectious.
BEWARE.
I'm nuts.....
haha.
Something's wrong with me.
Stupid fever.
IT'S THE FEVER.
SRSLY.
sms-ed mutant after school.
sadness much.
need to make skype.....
talk to her......
and stuff........................
READ PRETTY THINGS. SO AWESOME. gays&straight people. haha.
more deets in private blog.
see ya suckers~
BE A CUPCAKE.
we're both nuts and because of my mental state,
i like you.
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
4:41 PM
0 commented
4:41 PM
0 commented
Thursday, February 26, 2009
♥ Infatuation, Leave Me Alone
second dose of medicines. yes. it's kicking in.
fever. flu. sore throat.
may not make it tomorrow.
could barely concentrate today...but there's important stuff! how.
die. dead. dead-er.
plus there's gonna be a third dose later...i'm bound to konk out really fast..
i can't even think clearly now!
like, i just lost all my thoughts.
oh well, at least you readers are spared of my feelings crap.
DT and chinese homework soon. GOSH.
omg. something so damn HIL-arious during drama.
i saw hilary on the clip of Oedipus the King animation! THE BROCOLI.
&& mr potato is married to brocolli woman.
yay. ilydumbblond.
i need a nurse...i still want to go to school tomorrow if i can get out of bed tomorrow..
i barely could stand today morning.
i'm such a sad kid.
went a lil' high in drama.
wellwell.
HE talked to me.
tried as much to ignore, but ugh.
nvm.
clouded thoughts.
much to think.
headache.
higher fever.
die.
no thank you.
i don't make much sense?
i'm editing cos i just read something really really painful.
it HAPPENED. as in, really happened.
a jerk cheated on a girl..she gave her heart and all, but he just made her fall.
wth. why are guys so fked up? && it doesn't matter that if someone really likes him, he can just break their heart somehow.
pitying only hurts.
pretending hurts.
one-sided relationships hurt.
but of all, i rather hurt because a guy didn't like me.
but it hurts to the core when someone cheats on you and gives you lame excuses like how he didn't want to hurt you.
rejection. it's better than pretence or lies.
oh well, inexperience.
young. what else?
Wouldn't it be nice if we needn't go through infatuation..or there was a book to help us all through it? Or maybe a manual on how to tell if a guy genuinely likes you? It's those jerks that give girls insecurity...that makes other good guys work for something if they were true.
It's just so sad how this world truly lives on infatuation...and no one bothers about love much.
It's just about finding it and desperately forcing yourself to think it is love. What is love, who knows. It has no face, no heart. It lives with no soul, and it lives by itself. But if you mistake it for infatuation, it makes you hurt. Maybe that's why i'm hurting so much. Maybe it's why we all hurt so much. Love wants you to know it's coming, so stop looking. But we just can't help but desperately seek it and hold on to infatuation. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone NEEDS to be love.
It hurts, but we still reach out for it. Yearn for it. We just want a chance at love, to have something real. It's not always the one being dumped who's hurting. Ever thought that dumping someone isn't as easy as it looks? There's two sides to a lot of things. Open up and see, it doesn't just work one way. Maybe, just maybe there's another side you don't see. Stop judging. I would know. She's not a slut just because she dumped him..he liked someone else...still does. She just wants something real. It's not her fault all of them were the same...They all changed as soon as they got her.
She crumbled to pieces breaking up with them because she thought he really was the one...but she gets blamed.
& when she really tried and pretended, it just hurt her more and messed her up. She really fell so deep...but she ended up with nothing except a keychain to remind her of her past which hurt to the core.
Believe me, that's real. So stop judging with your eyes.
Things are always not what they seem. Life, isn't so simple. If you look hard enough, you'll probably see something you don't now.
this is where it ends,
sarah.
xoxoxx.
fever. flu. sore throat.
may not make it tomorrow.
could barely concentrate today...but there's important stuff! how.
die. dead. dead-er.
plus there's gonna be a third dose later...i'm bound to konk out really fast..
i can't even think clearly now!
like, i just lost all my thoughts.
oh well, at least you readers are spared of my feelings crap.
DT and chinese homework soon. GOSH.
omg. something so damn HIL-arious during drama.
i saw hilary on the clip of Oedipus the King animation! THE BROCOLI.
&& mr potato is married to brocolli woman.
yay. ilydumbblond.
i need a nurse...i still want to go to school tomorrow if i can get out of bed tomorrow..
i barely could stand today morning.
i'm such a sad kid.
went a lil' high in drama.
wellwell.
HE talked to me.
tried as much to ignore, but ugh.
nvm.
clouded thoughts.
much to think.
headache.
higher fever.
die.
no thank you.
i don't make much sense?
i'm editing cos i just read something really really painful.
it HAPPENED. as in, really happened.
a jerk cheated on a girl..she gave her heart and all, but he just made her fall.
wth. why are guys so fked up? && it doesn't matter that if someone really likes him, he can just break their heart somehow.
pitying only hurts.
pretending hurts.
one-sided relationships hurt.
but of all, i rather hurt because a guy didn't like me.
but it hurts to the core when someone cheats on you and gives you lame excuses like how he didn't want to hurt you.
rejection. it's better than pretence or lies.
oh well, inexperience.
young. what else?
Wouldn't it be nice if we needn't go through infatuation..or there was a book to help us all through it? Or maybe a manual on how to tell if a guy genuinely likes you? It's those jerks that give girls insecurity...that makes other good guys work for something if they were true.
It's just so sad how this world truly lives on infatuation...and no one bothers about love much.
It's just about finding it and desperately forcing yourself to think it is love. What is love, who knows. It has no face, no heart. It lives with no soul, and it lives by itself. But if you mistake it for infatuation, it makes you hurt. Maybe that's why i'm hurting so much. Maybe it's why we all hurt so much. Love wants you to know it's coming, so stop looking. But we just can't help but desperately seek it and hold on to infatuation. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone NEEDS to be love.
It hurts, but we still reach out for it. Yearn for it. We just want a chance at love, to have something real. It's not always the one being dumped who's hurting. Ever thought that dumping someone isn't as easy as it looks? There's two sides to a lot of things. Open up and see, it doesn't just work one way. Maybe, just maybe there's another side you don't see. Stop judging. I would know. She's not a slut just because she dumped him..he liked someone else...still does. She just wants something real. It's not her fault all of them were the same...They all changed as soon as they got her.
She crumbled to pieces breaking up with them because she thought he really was the one...but she gets blamed.
& when she really tried and pretended, it just hurt her more and messed her up. She really fell so deep...but she ended up with nothing except a keychain to remind her of her past which hurt to the core.
Believe me, that's real. So stop judging with your eyes.
Things are always not what they seem. Life, isn't so simple. If you look hard enough, you'll probably see something you don't now.
this is where it ends,
sarah.
xoxoxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
4:50 PM
0 commented
4:50 PM
0 commented
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
♥ Define Love,
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:44 PM
0 commented
8:44 PM
0 commented
♥ What's Love,
i'm ill.
so tragic isn't it.
yes.
everything's so tragic for me, it feels like my world is in pieces.
oh well.
i'm a fool for him, can't help it.
OMG....tedious uploading of pictures. may post like 1 soon over here.
Missing all them loves back home.
Then there's school.
oh dammit. it feels so wrong going to the gym now.
feels damn fked up.
yes, it does.
well, anyway.
was supposed to be angry but guess the medicine has kicked in and i can barely remember what i was supposed to feel.
just know i miss them loves.
especially stupid loser mutant...need her bloody good advice.
so sad i have to miss her.
oh, one&only where are you. MIA....
ugh.
school today was not fantastic, in fact.
i think i just want to die.
i can't forget him. yay me.
no matter what.
he thinks just by rejecting me i'll move on?
I WISH. so confusing.
can't think so much now.
plus there's blooddy drama research.
how screwed up can life go???????
Oh gosh, i'm a hell of a disaster.
&&&my damn stomach muscles/fats hurt like crap.
can't even laugh without pain.....lol much?
don't you know you're like toxic,
sarah.
xoxox.
so tragic isn't it.
yes.
everything's so tragic for me, it feels like my world is in pieces.
oh well.
i'm a fool for him, can't help it.
OMG....tedious uploading of pictures. may post like 1 soon over here.
Missing all them loves back home.
Then there's school.
oh dammit. it feels so wrong going to the gym now.
feels damn fked up.
yes, it does.
well, anyway.
was supposed to be angry but guess the medicine has kicked in and i can barely remember what i was supposed to feel.
just know i miss them loves.
especially stupid loser mutant...need her bloody good advice.
so sad i have to miss her.
oh, one&only where are you. MIA....
ugh.
school today was not fantastic, in fact.
i think i just want to die.
i can't forget him. yay me.
no matter what.
he thinks just by rejecting me i'll move on?
I WISH. so confusing.
can't think so much now.
plus there's blooddy drama research.
how screwed up can life go???????
Oh gosh, i'm a hell of a disaster.
&&&my damn stomach muscles/fats hurt like crap.
can't even laugh without pain.....lol much?
don't you know you're like toxic,
sarah.
xoxox.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:34 PM
0 commented
8:34 PM
0 commented
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
♥ Love Foolery
why don't you all just shut up and leave your comments to your self right?
Most of you just don't know what it's like to be me, gosh. GET A LIFE.
Don't steal mine!
NEVER cry over a guy, it makes you more vulnerable.
Today was uber tiring somehow. SHIPMENT FINALLY CAME. everything's in a damn mess. COMPUTER'S UP! WHOO. FINALLY. THE LUXURY of not having to share a laptop with 3 siblings.
Yes, i just got rejected. Why am i so stupid? Oh right! Cos i just a airhead who's supposed not to feel and just hurt like crap. WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH. WHY.
I will forget him,
i just don't understand why he had to go and ask b whether i was serious.
maybe i should just really be a nun.
maybe i should just give up.
maybe i should stop liking nice, beautiful strangers who act nice to you but stop there.
Cos that's where i fall and flat on the face.
Then you hurt and everybody's just too busy hurting themselves to give you a second look and care. What is my friggin problem? I never let myself fall this hard before.
WHY NOW. WHY HERE. I'm such a disaster for a girl who just wants to finally lean on something real. Once again, i'm fked up. & i brought it upon myself.
the truth hurts too much,
sarah.
sorry, i just forgot how to love.
PLEASE leave me alone. PLEASE. I don't want to hurt like this or feel like shit. But i do, and it sucks. I never intended to fk up my whole life while thinking i finally found something real. I just want someone to be there.
I promise myself from this day, i won't let myself hurt for no reason anymore.
Not because some guy thought he was being nice.
Most of you just don't know what it's like to be me, gosh. GET A LIFE.
Don't steal mine!
NEVER cry over a guy, it makes you more vulnerable.
Today was uber tiring somehow. SHIPMENT FINALLY CAME. everything's in a damn mess. COMPUTER'S UP! WHOO. FINALLY. THE LUXURY of not having to share a laptop with 3 siblings.
Yes, i just got rejected. Why am i so stupid? Oh right! Cos i just a airhead who's supposed not to feel and just hurt like crap. WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH. WHY.
I will forget him,
i just don't understand why he had to go and ask b whether i was serious.
maybe i should just really be a nun.
maybe i should just give up.
maybe i should stop liking nice, beautiful strangers who act nice to you but stop there.
Cos that's where i fall and flat on the face.
Then you hurt and everybody's just too busy hurting themselves to give you a second look and care. What is my friggin problem? I never let myself fall this hard before.
WHY NOW. WHY HERE. I'm such a disaster for a girl who just wants to finally lean on something real. Once again, i'm fked up. & i brought it upon myself.
the truth hurts too much,
sarah.
sorry, i just forgot how to love.
PLEASE leave me alone. PLEASE. I don't want to hurt like this or feel like shit. But i do, and it sucks. I never intended to fk up my whole life while thinking i finally found something real. I just want someone to be there.
I promise myself from this day, i won't let myself hurt for no reason anymore.
Not because some guy thought he was being nice.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:21 PM
0 commented
8:21 PM
0 commented
Monday, February 23, 2009
♥ Love Letdown
Yes, that's it. I reallyreallyreallyreally want to let go.
I catch him looking at me or either that, he's looking at the ghost behind me. That sucks. I don't know why we're wasting time pretending and ignoring.
I'm more serious than i can ever be and yet he thinks i'm playing.
UGH. yeah, like i cry in the middle of the night because of him and cos i was playing.
Someone shake this guy awake. For him, i'd burn.
The cold, hard brutal truth?
I'm far too deep to be shaken by his younger self photos.
I'm beyond hopeless into this beautiful stranger.
& he doesn't see it.
kill me? It hurts and i get jealous when i see him talking to another girl unlike how we can never have a long conversation. I'm so stupid, really i am.
I mean, lonelyboy and me could've been together....but i just had to fall for this stranger that i claim to have fallen for and all. Please if you ever fall for me, don't tell me. It'll hurt you more than when you know i like someone else not you. Seriously. unless i like you back, that's different. ANYWAY,
today was ok....barely saw him. think he was waiting for me to walk down together? but like? i dk? OMG. i'm going nuts. Like, mentally unstable.
IGNORE THAT.
time to go chill down,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
I catch him looking at me or either that, he's looking at the ghost behind me. That sucks. I don't know why we're wasting time pretending and ignoring.
I'm more serious than i can ever be and yet he thinks i'm playing.
UGH. yeah, like i cry in the middle of the night because of him and cos i was playing.
Someone shake this guy awake. For him, i'd burn.
The cold, hard brutal truth?
I'm far too deep to be shaken by his younger self photos.
I'm beyond hopeless into this beautiful stranger.
& he doesn't see it.
kill me? It hurts and i get jealous when i see him talking to another girl unlike how we can never have a long conversation. I'm so stupid, really i am.
I mean, lonelyboy and me could've been together....but i just had to fall for this stranger that i claim to have fallen for and all. Please if you ever fall for me, don't tell me. It'll hurt you more than when you know i like someone else not you. Seriously. unless i like you back, that's different. ANYWAY,
today was ok....barely saw him. think he was waiting for me to walk down together? but like? i dk? OMG. i'm going nuts. Like, mentally unstable.
IGNORE THAT.
time to go chill down,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:22 PM
0 commented
5:22 PM
0 commented
Sunday, February 22, 2009
i can't do anything but you, while i hurt, just keeps on whining.
in what way can i change this life i'm destined?
You don't know me, so please don't be judging.
I won't say i know you, but i do know me.
scoldings are all i hear.
scoldings are all i remember.
& from the world i hide.
See this girl smiling,
what do you know?
You think she's just whining,
but how much do you really know?
Somethings she hides, somethings she keeps.
Somethings stay unsaid,
for everything has a price to be paid.
in what way can i change this life i'm destined?
You don't know me, so please don't be judging.
I won't say i know you, but i do know me.
scoldings are all i hear.
scoldings are all i remember.
& from the world i hide.
See this girl smiling,
what do you know?
You think she's just whining,
but how much do you really know?
Somethings she hides, somethings she keeps.
Somethings stay unsaid,
for everything has a price to be paid.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:16 PM
0 commented
5:16 PM
0 commented
♥ Untouched
"& even if the world falls down tonight, you still got me to hold on tight. Cos i will never let you down."
Baby i know it's probably hard for you, but it isn't any easier for us too. Just know that there are others, hurting. It's just the way life is i s'pose. Everyone will get burn, sooner or later. The scars will fade with lessons learnt, and you'll start to reach for something real.
You'll know what i mean when your time comes.
I've tried so many times to let you go, but i just can't seem to do so.
Believe me when i said i've tried, more than the number of times i cried.
I wish i could just forget you, but...
sometimes i wish there were words to say, but it's all pointless. like how irritatingly painful it is to hear your own mother sprouting words she shouldn't about your dad.
i just lost my mood for everything. life's so fking miserable. screw this all.
i just wish you'll leave me the fk alone,
sarah.
xo.
Baby i know it's probably hard for you, but it isn't any easier for us too. Just know that there are others, hurting. It's just the way life is i s'pose. Everyone will get burn, sooner or later. The scars will fade with lessons learnt, and you'll start to reach for something real.
You'll know what i mean when your time comes.
I've tried so many times to let you go, but i just can't seem to do so.
Believe me when i said i've tried, more than the number of times i cried.
I wish i could just forget you, but...
sometimes i wish there were words to say, but it's all pointless. like how irritatingly painful it is to hear your own mother sprouting words she shouldn't about your dad.
i just lost my mood for everything. life's so fking miserable. screw this all.
i just wish you'll leave me the fk alone,
sarah.
xo.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
10:50 AM
0 commented
10:50 AM
0 commented
Saturday, February 21, 2009
♥ Destroy Love
yes, we shall all go and find love, and burn that fker down(:
anyway, went out with Aunt Tess, rach and ryan for lunch.
then headed to some kid palace place which was kinda awesome cos i got some stuff. FAKE TATTOOS. Since i can't get real ones now, i shall satisfy my retarded self with fake ones. haha. Then i got stockings. black and one blue one. headed hom, Sean's having some practise and stuff. OH well, just another day for me in this cold place.
i mean really cold, there's no one here?.
imyall,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
more deets on private blog? yeah.
anyway, went out with Aunt Tess, rach and ryan for lunch.
then headed to some kid palace place which was kinda awesome cos i got some stuff. FAKE TATTOOS. Since i can't get real ones now, i shall satisfy my retarded self with fake ones. haha. Then i got stockings. black and one blue one. headed hom, Sean's having some practise and stuff. OH well, just another day for me in this cold place.
i mean really cold, there's no one here?.
imyall,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
more deets on private blog? yeah.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
4:25 PM
0 commented
4:25 PM
0 commented
Friday, February 20, 2009
♥ Le Satisfaction
i'm not the one to bear grudges
DANCING STUFF TOMORROW. whoo baby. at the place called bailian.
dancing, i miss you so.
So, today was a satisfactory day for me.
& probably for Anna.
haha. Don't you just love lunch and drama? I do, more details.
Not for the locked-outs'.
It's all juicy dirt, somewhere most won't know.
ANYWAY.
English was first. BORING. R&J was so yesterday?
Chinese, i actually did the homework. I think i'm some kind of freak. OH NO.
WELL, i still suck at it so i doubt it counts.
THEN it was DT. HAHAH. Major slack?
lunch, my favourite time of the day.
IT'S SATISFACTION BABY.
MATH, was math. history was awesome.
&&& Chem Is Try was alright.
HOME, boring! I just need my Mr Darcy,
the rest don't really matter.
I think i'm seriously serious.
Never have i been so vulnerable like this.
I love school bus rides....i'm always flying....and the back seats, wicked.
haha.
Hopefully he'll be online at 9-ish.
Cos, i will.
SO,
time to calm down and wait for him.
ciao darling~
he called me beautiful,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
DANCING STUFF TOMORROW. whoo baby. at the place called bailian.
dancing, i miss you so.
So, today was a satisfactory day for me.
& probably for Anna.
haha. Don't you just love lunch and drama? I do, more details.
Not for the locked-outs'.
It's all juicy dirt, somewhere most won't know.
ANYWAY.
English was first. BORING. R&J was so yesterday?
Chinese, i actually did the homework. I think i'm some kind of freak. OH NO.
WELL, i still suck at it so i doubt it counts.
THEN it was DT. HAHAH. Major slack?
lunch, my favourite time of the day.
IT'S SATISFACTION BABY.
MATH, was math. history was awesome.
&&& Chem Is Try was alright.
HOME, boring! I just need my Mr Darcy,
the rest don't really matter.
I think i'm seriously serious.
Never have i been so vulnerable like this.
I love school bus rides....i'm always flying....and the back seats, wicked.
haha.
Hopefully he'll be online at 9-ish.
Cos, i will.
SO,
time to calm down and wait for him.
ciao darling~
he called me beautiful,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
7:18 PM
0 commented
7:18 PM
0 commented
Thursday, February 19, 2009
♥ Anything but love
yes! yes! i am happy. hahahha. yes. very happy. hahhahah. ok. anyway.
TODAY. had my favourite subject, physics! It was ok, i could understand what was being taught. whoo. Then there was english, reading out the juliet part. OMG. & we're gonna be looking at love stories like R&J. Top love movies that came too my mind immediately, MOULIN ROUGE & THE NOTEBOOK. AWESOME MUCH? hahahha. anyway, i miss those two dvds...my beloved dvds......in singapore. AHHH. Then lunch, satisfaction baby! haha. Poor Anna, but you made me have to write poems? WELL. haha. PE, boring, dumb, not physical at all. LASTLY MY FAVOURITE SUBJECT: DRAMA. omg. slack much.
I love you,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
TODAY. had my favourite subject, physics! It was ok, i could understand what was being taught. whoo. Then there was english, reading out the juliet part. OMG. & we're gonna be looking at love stories like R&J. Top love movies that came too my mind immediately, MOULIN ROUGE & THE NOTEBOOK. AWESOME MUCH? hahahha. anyway, i miss those two dvds...my beloved dvds......in singapore. AHHH. Then lunch, satisfaction baby! haha. Poor Anna, but you made me have to write poems? WELL. haha. PE, boring, dumb, not physical at all. LASTLY MY FAVOURITE SUBJECT: DRAMA. omg. slack much.
I love you,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
4:32 PM
0 commented
4:32 PM
0 commented
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
♥ Go On & Fool Me
Today was a upper, then it became a downer.
Ting Xie, 92/100. Last min stuff. annoying much.
math test, just kill me.
i forgot what i wanted to post. Nothing left to post here? Need to think. Currently in the state of mess and confusion.
drama, my favourite subject.
i was so sure about a few minutes ago, i had a lot of crap to type out. I just lost almost all sense. Luckily, i can still type out some stuff that makes sense but though, doesn't matter.
private blog with loads of messed up sits. i bet you're craving for it. Well, it's just that i posted all my energy out on that one, i'm too tired to think of anything i want to post. So, maybe later, tomorrow or forget it.
i really don't mean to hurt you, i can't lie that i feel it too.
so sorry.
please say you feel it too,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
Ting Xie, 92/100. Last min stuff. annoying much.
math test, just kill me.
i forgot what i wanted to post. Nothing left to post here? Need to think. Currently in the state of mess and confusion.
drama, my favourite subject.
i was so sure about a few minutes ago, i had a lot of crap to type out. I just lost almost all sense. Luckily, i can still type out some stuff that makes sense but though, doesn't matter.
private blog with loads of messed up sits. i bet you're craving for it. Well, it's just that i posted all my energy out on that one, i'm too tired to think of anything i want to post. So, maybe later, tomorrow or forget it.
i really don't mean to hurt you, i can't lie that i feel it too.
so sorry.
please say you feel it too,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
4:56 PM
0 commented
4:56 PM
0 commented
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
♥ One&Only
turned out wrong eventually.
i've been told that our eyes are the windows to a person's real self.
if so, everyone i know is either sad or lost. Including me. Very rare, happy eyes.
So i just blogged in the private blog. Believe me, if you don't want to get hurt and think you know me, don't read it. I'm the best at hurting people emotionally. Rushing for math test and ting xie. mum has to use the comp anyway. can't wait for the shipment to finally arrive. Need to go to the Service Centre to ask for a powerpoint if not i'm dead. Nothing much, just that mr darcy is so confusing. Making me mess myself up. I wish he'd just go away. like, far far far far far far far far away. Gosh, i think that's about it. Today was fun. It's getting better. Except for darcy. i so gotta stop breaking so easily.
you don't know a thing about me,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
i've been told that our eyes are the windows to a person's real self.
if so, everyone i know is either sad or lost. Including me. Very rare, happy eyes.
So i just blogged in the private blog. Believe me, if you don't want to get hurt and think you know me, don't read it. I'm the best at hurting people emotionally. Rushing for math test and ting xie. mum has to use the comp anyway. can't wait for the shipment to finally arrive. Need to go to the Service Centre to ask for a powerpoint if not i'm dead. Nothing much, just that mr darcy is so confusing. Making me mess myself up. I wish he'd just go away. like, far far far far far far far far away. Gosh, i think that's about it. Today was fun. It's getting better. Except for darcy. i so gotta stop breaking so easily.
you don't know a thing about me,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:02 PM
0 commented
5:02 PM
0 commented
Monday, February 16, 2009
♥ Love Was So yesterday
today is just infatuations and stupid blind crushes.
Where's love? stupid cupid, just stop hitting people.
anyway, gotta rush.
private blog.
crazy day.
use more of private blog.
gay buddy; hil.
lovers; anna&brenna.
ONE&ONLY, dumbblack lizarah.
want to sleep. got math to rush. slept when i came back. feel like a pig. math test and ting xie on wed. need words. fk it. so damn tired and rushed. hate it. ughhhhh. life is so tiring?
just remembered.
HINTHINT. lol. just kidding. but i do want to note this down before i forget.
i wish a guy would be romantic to me for once. wouldn't it bbe cool? yes, to me. if he was real and what he feels. awesome much? coolness much. yes, i was daydreaming about a guy writing to me love letters and lovewtvcrap. anyway, that's me alright. i'm just a dreamer. i know it won't come true. but heck.
love tunnels are for lovers with no guts?
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
Where's love? stupid cupid, just stop hitting people.
anyway, gotta rush.
private blog.
crazy day.
use more of private blog.
gay buddy; hil.
lovers; anna&brenna.
ONE&ONLY, dumbblack lizarah.
want to sleep. got math to rush. slept when i came back. feel like a pig. math test and ting xie on wed. need words. fk it. so damn tired and rushed. hate it. ughhhhh. life is so tiring?
just remembered.
HINTHINT. lol. just kidding. but i do want to note this down before i forget.
i wish a guy would be romantic to me for once. wouldn't it bbe cool? yes, to me. if he was real and what he feels. awesome much? coolness much. yes, i was daydreaming about a guy writing to me love letters and lovewtvcrap. anyway, that's me alright. i'm just a dreamer. i know it won't come true. but heck.
love tunnels are for lovers with no guts?
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
9:32 PM
0 commented
9:32 PM
0 commented
Sunday, February 15, 2009
♥ small whispers of love
love messages; emotional turmoil
1 month, it took you. 1 month you secretly watched. 1 month i was breaking down almost everyday. 1 month i cried myself to sleep. 1 month i pretended to be alright. 1 month, i have missed you. & 1 month, you're finally back.
don't leave, i don't think my heart can handle it again.
stupid dumb black.
forget you? hate you? Never came across my mind before. Idiot.
i love you to bits and hell.
Today is the day my world is much less darker than before. I am glad you've finally decided to come back. I have missed you a lot. Can you make a blog again. use blogger....i can't access lj. for me. let's share a blog. ily. Maybe you should start tagging and stop acting like my secret admirer or stalker. Cos you're better than that. My dumb black, one&only. Post VDay present huh. I love it. Thank you for deciding to come back. I will always be here.
hey people. i am studying. not. i have become a slacker. yesterday was great. i know. aunt flow is nice to me. lol. well, wtv. i'm just waiting for my heart to be given back now. nice person's out. mr darcy was online. i'm happier. Life couldn't get better? Maybe i should start loving, need my heart back first. I shall learn to love without fear again. thank you one&only. don't leave again.
post vday song: About You Now
the one by Miranda Cosgrove.
wish Mr Darcy would just talk to me? He's damn fun... ughhhhh. life is killing me. Wish he knew i cried for him, and stop being such a mystery. Fk it, srsly. i hate sharing computers. i want to talk to him.. i want to forget him at least! UGH.
if the world shall fall,
it's not bringing us all.
ily always& miss you.
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
PS i'm reading my emails now, so if i get longlonglong/ love messages from people dear to me, i will save it. under my new folder, love messages in hotmail. Think it's better in email sometimes.
1 month, it took you. 1 month you secretly watched. 1 month i was breaking down almost everyday. 1 month i cried myself to sleep. 1 month i pretended to be alright. 1 month, i have missed you. & 1 month, you're finally back.
don't leave, i don't think my heart can handle it again.
stupid dumb black.
forget you? hate you? Never came across my mind before. Idiot.
i love you to bits and hell.
Today is the day my world is much less darker than before. I am glad you've finally decided to come back. I have missed you a lot. Can you make a blog again. use blogger....i can't access lj. for me. let's share a blog. ily. Maybe you should start tagging and stop acting like my secret admirer or stalker. Cos you're better than that. My dumb black, one&only. Post VDay present huh. I love it. Thank you for deciding to come back. I will always be here.
hey people. i am studying. not. i have become a slacker. yesterday was great. i know. aunt flow is nice to me. lol. well, wtv. i'm just waiting for my heart to be given back now. nice person's out. mr darcy was online. i'm happier. Life couldn't get better? Maybe i should start loving, need my heart back first. I shall learn to love without fear again. thank you one&only. don't leave again.
post vday song: About You Now
the one by Miranda Cosgrove.
wish Mr Darcy would just talk to me? He's damn fun... ughhhhh. life is killing me. Wish he knew i cried for him, and stop being such a mystery. Fk it, srsly. i hate sharing computers. i want to talk to him.. i want to forget him at least! UGH.
if the world shall fall,
it's not bringing us all.
ily always& miss you.
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
PS i'm reading my emails now, so if i get longlonglong/ love messages from people dear to me, i will save it. under my new folder, love messages in hotmail. Think it's better in email sometimes.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
2:03 PM
0 commented
2:03 PM
0 commented
Saturday, February 14, 2009
♥ happy valentine's day
roses are red,
and my heart is dead.
wish this would be real,
with everything and what i feel.
so nice person gave me a rose, i stole hise bracelet thingy forgotten what it's really called. just know it's a skate park pass thing. hahahha. then i let him have mine. hahaha. anyway, it was major fun today. Not like singapore where they don't really celebrate. it's cool.
hellohello,
it's vday coming and passing soon. haha. had an awesome time. nice person, hil, brenna and ke you came over. Horny people who like to be horny. oh well. ok. i make no sense. i'm just really tired. all i know is that it was brill. loved it, love it, miss it.
love won't fool me another time,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
11:21 PM
0 commented
11:21 PM
0 commented
♥ VDay recovery
small lil minature minor party at the house.
movies. people. fun. laughter. LOVE.
yeah baby, this is the most rockin' thing happening to me ever since THE MOVE.
so i guess, shanghai isn't that bad? well, it's getting muchmuch better.
anyway, better go get ready soon. still in jammies. darn. shhhhhhh.
major hyped rush.
must be the too-fast-happenings. coolness.
you're loved cos i love you,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
movies. people. fun. laughter. LOVE.
yeah baby, this is the most rockin' thing happening to me ever since THE MOVE.
so i guess, shanghai isn't that bad? well, it's getting muchmuch better.
anyway, better go get ready soon. still in jammies. darn. shhhhhhh.
major hyped rush.
must be the too-fast-happenings. coolness.
you're loved cos i love you,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
11:30 AM
0 commented
11:30 AM
0 commented
Friday, February 13, 2009
♥ Unreturned Love
somehow i'm just so deep.
blasted music into my precious ears and almost went deaf. got saved before i killed myself.
i'm blogging again cos i have no life. hahah. no. i just want to record these moments down before i forget them... well, gerard wants to fedex me a rose and he's gonna send hugs and kisses too. well, retardedly whatever. haha. never fails to make me laugh. gosh, how i miss singapore. VDay is here baby. i got a valentine. hahaha. well, i cheated anyway. i had two. i disowned the jerk and now i'm celebrating it with a nice guy. yay me. finally. a nice guy. ugh. screw those jerks, i hope you burn. i'm so tired from break down?....... anyway, hope to have better, less suckier days ahead.
i love you and you know it,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
NOTE TO SELF: NEW CATHY GLASS BOOKS! ask daddy to help order from amazon.com the saddest girl in the world etcetc & Damaged!
blasted music into my precious ears and almost went deaf. got saved before i killed myself.
i'm blogging again cos i have no life. hahah. no. i just want to record these moments down before i forget them... well, gerard wants to fedex me a rose and he's gonna send hugs and kisses too. well, retardedly whatever. haha. never fails to make me laugh. gosh, how i miss singapore. VDay is here baby. i got a valentine. hahaha. well, i cheated anyway. i had two. i disowned the jerk and now i'm celebrating it with a nice guy. yay me. finally. a nice guy. ugh. screw those jerks, i hope you burn. i'm so tired from break down?....... anyway, hope to have better, less suckier days ahead.
i love you and you know it,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
NOTE TO SELF: NEW CATHY GLASS BOOKS! ask daddy to help order from amazon.com the saddest girl in the world etcetc & Damaged!
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
10:14 PM
0 commented
10:14 PM
0 commented
♥ love's out
i am very very very drained from the move to shanghai.
apparently, i am throwing up for no reason and stuff. i am not pregnant. i did not have SI at all. wtf mann. srsly. i really really hate it here. no matter how cute/ugly the guys are. i simply want my friends and stable life back. it's crap here. honestly speaking, i don't know why i bother studying so friggin hard and allowed myself to come here.
i'm no regretting. i'm just merely reflecting. i really hate life. it's so fkin stressful and i gain NOTHING HERE but lose practically everything. i never should've thrown away my life in singapore and come here....never. i'm such a fool. in every aspect of this pathetic life i lead. including relationships. woke up at one and started breaking down. gosh. i lost the number of times that happened at random times. yesterday was the first to be in the middle of sleep...well, i woke up from a dream...this life i lead, a nightmare so i doubt the dream could ever measure up. gosh, fkin idiot told my to cure my insecurity. fk off and outta my life. you don't know anything about me or anything. merely just a little of my past and you think you got it all. typical jerk. think it's so easy having a fked up life? think again shole. i hate shanghai and i hate my life now. i was just having a life which rocked before this. Now i have to start all over...like as if transfering last year to hcis was easy for me...it's worse now. it's another country for hell's sake. i fkin came here for the damn family but now the blame is pushed back to me? think i damn wanted to lose my friends slowly and hurt like crap even more. i'm not a sadistic or emotional person. i just wish someone would help me out of this hurting and sorrow...i miss what i used to be. someone who wouldn't date a guy at this age. someone who wouldn't kiss a guy just cos he was the boyfriend. i want to be strong..but how can i be strong when everyone around me won't let me be. i'm insecured because i don't know what's a lie or truth. i don't know how to promise someone i won't hurt them. i don't know how to live. i just want to go back home and spend time with karmello. zoey. or even just alone at somewhere familiar...away from all this hurting, i want to be free...but all that shanghai provides is a wall that reflects it all back. it's hurting more and more each day, the tears become more and more heavy each time, and the flow unstoppable. i cry at the most random times. i lost myself when i came here. please if someone could ever find my old-self, i need it back. i want to smile and mean it...and not put up a pathetic act so i can make friends.
i'm so tired of love, i want to know what it feels to be loved...cos apparently this home is a empty vessel with people who are controlled by their minds and everything is about them, and because of me. blame me for everything, i'll take it...but why must you take love away from me. i rather be a beggar on the streets with people who love me, not some middle-class kid with nothing but herself to go to.
i meant it when i said i led a sad life.
someone save me from myself,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
be my valentine's. just give me chocolates, sweets or a note that says happy valentine's day sarah. even my bro has a date but i don't. pathetic much. i'm in a ok mood to blog so i shall blog. everybody's out..most are. people in singapore just finishing up with school. yesterday had a major breakdown. it's the eve of valentine's day and once again unsurprisingly, i'm valentine-less. last year i was too busy to blog on the 13th of feb...right. cos i was stupid enough to bake for him even though i was dead tired and my feet was aching. i thought it was real. but the jerk1 tore me into pieces and made me messed up. he gave me godiva chocs and we used to share hershey bars together when he dropped me off..and if he had nothing on. which was most of the time. i miss times like that...slacking on the playground. gosh. okok. enough.
tomorrow i shall study and just promise to try and love myself. i shall not cut myself anymore. i will not cut myself. i must not cut myself. i will love myself no matter what. this is so hard. i hate valentine's day. help someone? i wish i could go back to singapore and spend a whole week there right now. i need the beach...wanna go sentosa with karmello and belimo again...then buy loads of crap food from the 2 dollar shop place. forgot the name. well well, hope i won't post tomorrow and i'll have a valentine.
love me;
i thought you were different too,
and i just wanted to know you.
cos everytime you keep something from me,
it instantly drives me crazy.
i didn't mean to feel this way, but i do anyway.
i've heard love songs on replay, and i just keep thinking of you straightaway.
i actually broke down and cried for Mr Darcy....i don't even like him..he's not what i'm looking for. at one am in the morning. i'm officially nuts.
be my valentine?
apparently, i am throwing up for no reason and stuff. i am not pregnant. i did not have SI at all. wtf mann. srsly. i really really hate it here. no matter how cute/ugly the guys are. i simply want my friends and stable life back. it's crap here. honestly speaking, i don't know why i bother studying so friggin hard and allowed myself to come here.
i'm no regretting. i'm just merely reflecting. i really hate life. it's so fkin stressful and i gain NOTHING HERE but lose practically everything. i never should've thrown away my life in singapore and come here....never. i'm such a fool. in every aspect of this pathetic life i lead. including relationships. woke up at one and started breaking down. gosh. i lost the number of times that happened at random times. yesterday was the first to be in the middle of sleep...well, i woke up from a dream...this life i lead, a nightmare so i doubt the dream could ever measure up. gosh, fkin idiot told my to cure my insecurity. fk off and outta my life. you don't know anything about me or anything. merely just a little of my past and you think you got it all. typical jerk. think it's so easy having a fked up life? think again shole. i hate shanghai and i hate my life now. i was just having a life which rocked before this. Now i have to start all over...like as if transfering last year to hcis was easy for me...it's worse now. it's another country for hell's sake. i fkin came here for the damn family but now the blame is pushed back to me? think i damn wanted to lose my friends slowly and hurt like crap even more. i'm not a sadistic or emotional person. i just wish someone would help me out of this hurting and sorrow...i miss what i used to be. someone who wouldn't date a guy at this age. someone who wouldn't kiss a guy just cos he was the boyfriend. i want to be strong..but how can i be strong when everyone around me won't let me be. i'm insecured because i don't know what's a lie or truth. i don't know how to promise someone i won't hurt them. i don't know how to live. i just want to go back home and spend time with karmello. zoey. or even just alone at somewhere familiar...away from all this hurting, i want to be free...but all that shanghai provides is a wall that reflects it all back. it's hurting more and more each day, the tears become more and more heavy each time, and the flow unstoppable. i cry at the most random times. i lost myself when i came here. please if someone could ever find my old-self, i need it back. i want to smile and mean it...and not put up a pathetic act so i can make friends.
i'm so tired of love, i want to know what it feels to be loved...cos apparently this home is a empty vessel with people who are controlled by their minds and everything is about them, and because of me. blame me for everything, i'll take it...but why must you take love away from me. i rather be a beggar on the streets with people who love me, not some middle-class kid with nothing but herself to go to.
i meant it when i said i led a sad life.
someone save me from myself,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
be my valentine's. just give me chocolates, sweets or a note that says happy valentine's day sarah. even my bro has a date but i don't. pathetic much. i'm in a ok mood to blog so i shall blog. everybody's out..most are. people in singapore just finishing up with school. yesterday had a major breakdown. it's the eve of valentine's day and once again unsurprisingly, i'm valentine-less. last year i was too busy to blog on the 13th of feb...right. cos i was stupid enough to bake for him even though i was dead tired and my feet was aching. i thought it was real. but the jerk1 tore me into pieces and made me messed up. he gave me godiva chocs and we used to share hershey bars together when he dropped me off..and if he had nothing on. which was most of the time. i miss times like that...slacking on the playground. gosh. okok. enough.
tomorrow i shall study and just promise to try and love myself. i shall not cut myself anymore. i will not cut myself. i must not cut myself. i will love myself no matter what. this is so hard. i hate valentine's day. help someone? i wish i could go back to singapore and spend a whole week there right now. i need the beach...wanna go sentosa with karmello and belimo again...then buy loads of crap food from the 2 dollar shop place. forgot the name. well well, hope i won't post tomorrow and i'll have a valentine.
love me;
i thought you were different too,
and i just wanted to know you.
cos everytime you keep something from me,
it instantly drives me crazy.
i didn't mean to feel this way, but i do anyway.
i've heard love songs on replay, and i just keep thinking of you straightaway.
i actually broke down and cried for Mr Darcy....i don't even like him..he's not what i'm looking for. at one am in the morning. i'm officially nuts.
be my valentine?
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
1:24 PM
0 commented
1:24 PM
0 commented
Thursday, February 12, 2009
♥ Can't Stop Thinking Of You
swollen red eyes,
that's how i cry for you.
blue black bruised heart,
just because i loved you.
mr blue mr blue, it seems so impossible to be with you.
i'm laying this crush to rest,
because i want to recover from this mess.
today was interesting, fun and ok. missing hcis and everyone like hell still though.
omg, i have stalkers who read my blog. so scary. anyway, i'm so washed out. & i didn't do anything. total failure. can't really post much now cos of stalkers.
Dear Stalkers,
please tag my tagboard with your names and register as my stalker. thank you.
PS i love you.
HA. i'm nuts, i know.
People are nice. yeah, i'm random...think i'm finally warming up. Becareful deceived people, the real me has yet to show. ok, i'm really nuts, think i'm having a mental breakdown. homework for VDay. hownice. anybody want to be my online valentines? stalker? haha. go create an anonymous email acc then i'll try to guess who you are. hahahah. ok. nvm.
well well those lucky lovers out there, happy valentine's day.
& for those happy singles, happy mourning valentine's day.
SPREAD THE LOVE cos it's ALL LOVE& OUT.
i know you know it.
It's like the sun spilling into the dark,
in my heart they're setting off sparks.
Dewdrops forming in early morning,
it's cold and i can't help crying.
Forgive me beautiful stranger,
but i do know about love and it's danger.
It'll start off with promises of forever,
but in the end i'll hurt when it's over.
I'm not prepared for this adventure,
or the pain i feel now to become more stronger.
My heart's been broken time and again,
and from then i promised i wouldn't let it pain.
You know you can't make me feel safe,
when all you want is for me to feel the same.
No thoughts of my heart but you,
i don't think i could do this for you.
Hurting used to be my addiction,
and let down my new obsession.
I can't take it anymore,
and there's nothing worth living for.
i tried so many times to heal,
and finally reach for something real.
I'm tired of feeling this way,
and the pain that won't go away.
Pray someone help me,
to love and smile once again.
From the world i hide,
everything i feel inside.
no one knows the vulnerable me,
that yearns for this hurting's remedy.
I'm stuck in love's maze,
and caught in the haze.
should i take you seriously? or am i just a toy.
watching nearly famous on youtube. ace show. haha. was so long ago but it's just so good.
i love you so love me back please,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
PS Mr Yellow, i just think you're a nice fellow.
PPS Mr Darcy, your actions and words are so misleading.
editing for the gazillionth time but this song's lyrics from nearly famous sung by tallulah riley is so good. please tell me if you got it! anything by her, please! esp hallelujah.
Lyrics:
all of this
all the time
takes it's toll
with no rythem and rhyme
it makes us old
but look at you, you're so alive
and yet you keep it inside
why won't you let
the world see
behind your sad eyes
& i'm just glad of an excuse to stare at you
people say it's a life lost
but it's my life to lose.
that's how i cry for you.
blue black bruised heart,
just because i loved you.
mr blue mr blue, it seems so impossible to be with you.
i'm laying this crush to rest,
because i want to recover from this mess.
today was interesting, fun and ok. missing hcis and everyone like hell still though.
omg, i have stalkers who read my blog. so scary. anyway, i'm so washed out. & i didn't do anything. total failure. can't really post much now cos of stalkers.
Dear Stalkers,
please tag my tagboard with your names and register as my stalker. thank you.
PS i love you.
HA. i'm nuts, i know.
People are nice. yeah, i'm random...think i'm finally warming up. Becareful deceived people, the real me has yet to show. ok, i'm really nuts, think i'm having a mental breakdown. homework for VDay. hownice. anybody want to be my online valentines? stalker? haha. go create an anonymous email acc then i'll try to guess who you are. hahahah. ok. nvm.
well well those lucky lovers out there, happy valentine's day.
& for those happy singles, happy mourning valentine's day.
SPREAD THE LOVE cos it's ALL LOVE& OUT.
i know you know it.
It's like the sun spilling into the dark,
in my heart they're setting off sparks.
Dewdrops forming in early morning,
it's cold and i can't help crying.
Forgive me beautiful stranger,
but i do know about love and it's danger.
It'll start off with promises of forever,
but in the end i'll hurt when it's over.
I'm not prepared for this adventure,
or the pain i feel now to become more stronger.
My heart's been broken time and again,
and from then i promised i wouldn't let it pain.
You know you can't make me feel safe,
when all you want is for me to feel the same.
No thoughts of my heart but you,
i don't think i could do this for you.
Hurting used to be my addiction,
and let down my new obsession.
I can't take it anymore,
and there's nothing worth living for.
i tried so many times to heal,
and finally reach for something real.
I'm tired of feeling this way,
and the pain that won't go away.
Pray someone help me,
to love and smile once again.
From the world i hide,
everything i feel inside.
no one knows the vulnerable me,
that yearns for this hurting's remedy.
I'm stuck in love's maze,
and caught in the haze.
should i take you seriously? or am i just a toy.
watching nearly famous on youtube. ace show. haha. was so long ago but it's just so good.
i love you so love me back please,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
PS Mr Yellow, i just think you're a nice fellow.
PPS Mr Darcy, your actions and words are so misleading.
editing for the gazillionth time but this song's lyrics from nearly famous sung by tallulah riley is so good. please tell me if you got it! anything by her, please! esp hallelujah.
Lyrics:
all of this
all the time
takes it's toll
with no rythem and rhyme
it makes us old
but look at you, you're so alive
and yet you keep it inside
why won't you let
the world see
behind your sad eyes
& i'm just glad of an excuse to stare at you
people say it's a life lost
but it's my life to lose.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:09 PM
0 commented
5:09 PM
0 commented
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
♥ Love's Worth
give me a reason, to fight the feeling.
yes, i am lost and caught in the blankness of confusion.
VDay gifts tomorrow~! whooooo.
i'm so sleepy...first period with weirdo physics teacher/dm! ugh, gross much.
&&&&&&&&&& i am still dateless, loveless and valentine'sless.
pathetic much. yes, that's me.
i feel so tired but i sleep early. ughhhhh....tomorrow is slack day, love it.
R&J, can't understand..feel like sleeping.
DRAMA tomorrow.
yay....
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. new student thing is irritating. stupid math teacher scolded. cos some of us were 5 mins late. gosh. then he's like telling me not to hang out with the wrong people? WTF. go and die dude. get a life, and a girlfriend. might help you. if you're married, poor wife. sickening freak.
anywayyyyyyy,
i love mr blue..but i'm waking up..it's not gonna last/work.
SO, i shall just...wait. wait. wait. for nothing...and nothing. ugh....annoying. i just love fantasy too much. i know. i'm so messed up. ah well,
mourn vday with me,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
yes, i am lost and caught in the blankness of confusion.
VDay gifts tomorrow~! whooooo.
i'm so sleepy...first period with weirdo physics teacher/dm! ugh, gross much.
&&&&&&&&&& i am still dateless, loveless and valentine'sless.
pathetic much. yes, that's me.
i feel so tired but i sleep early. ughhhhh....tomorrow is slack day, love it.
R&J, can't understand..feel like sleeping.
DRAMA tomorrow.
yay....
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. new student thing is irritating. stupid math teacher scolded. cos some of us were 5 mins late. gosh. then he's like telling me not to hang out with the wrong people? WTF. go and die dude. get a life, and a girlfriend. might help you. if you're married, poor wife. sickening freak.
anywayyyyyyy,
i love mr blue..but i'm waking up..it's not gonna last/work.
SO, i shall just...wait. wait. wait. for nothing...and nothing. ugh....annoying. i just love fantasy too much. i know. i'm so messed up. ah well,
mourn vday with me,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:48 PM
0 commented
5:48 PM
0 commented
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
♥ cupid's mistake
"i'm sticking with you, cos i'm made out of glue"
i shall go on with love filled titles for my blog till i become normal again.
yes, i have officially lost myself.
sadd life. ain't it.
wellwellwell, no homework to be rushed today but sstill, have to study a little at least, later.
volleyball as cca and i suck. hahha. should've known better. it's pure humiliation but it was ok.
missing everyone back at sg...think i'm gonna have breakdown no. 7/8/9/10 today. screw life. srsly. so friggin f-ed up? Leave love before it leaves you, i'm tired of doing that...i wanna find someone to stick to. so sick of flings. it just sucks, fidodido wanted an ldr...and he was the one to break my friggin broken messed up f-ed up heart and self. UGH. i miss mutant and beaver and nothingness.......i wanna cry.......karmello, don't go back! i fkin didn't want to come...but was forced...at least promise you'll go back to sg in july...so damn missing you guys.
yeah, everyone at kc too. thanks for those who bother remembering my sad self.
i want to go back! i don't care if hcis sucks..i love them freaks. my beloved weirdos.
i miss chiao-er too.
oh gosh. fk it, i'm being retarded again. ughhh. but i miss you guys! and i'm a loner/loser here. like the people being seriously nice to me are....yeah...well...ugh......it's just not that same kind of bond...i'm like always missing out and stuff....I HATE IT HERE> I FKIN WANNA GO BACK.
screw life and love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
i shall go on with love filled titles for my blog till i become normal again.
yes, i have officially lost myself.
sadd life. ain't it.
wellwellwell, no homework to be rushed today but sstill, have to study a little at least, later.
volleyball as cca and i suck. hahha. should've known better. it's pure humiliation but it was ok.
missing everyone back at sg...think i'm gonna have breakdown no. 7/8/9/10 today. screw life. srsly. so friggin f-ed up? Leave love before it leaves you, i'm tired of doing that...i wanna find someone to stick to. so sick of flings. it just sucks, fidodido wanted an ldr...and he was the one to break my friggin broken messed up f-ed up heart and self. UGH. i miss mutant and beaver and nothingness.......i wanna cry.......karmello, don't go back! i fkin didn't want to come...but was forced...at least promise you'll go back to sg in july...so damn missing you guys.
yeah, everyone at kc too. thanks for those who bother remembering my sad self.
i want to go back! i don't care if hcis sucks..i love them freaks. my beloved weirdos.
i miss chiao-er too.
oh gosh. fk it, i'm being retarded again. ughhh. but i miss you guys! and i'm a loner/loser here. like the people being seriously nice to me are....yeah...well...ugh......it's just not that same kind of bond...i'm like always missing out and stuff....I HATE IT HERE> I FKIN WANNA GO BACK.
screw life and love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:11 PM
0 commented
5:11 PM
0 commented
Monday, February 09, 2009
♥ Valentine Reject
Another year: dateless, loveless and valentineless. AGAIN.
yes, life is as screwed up as ever.
friggin being told all the crap i don't want to know.
so f-ed up. everything. srsly.
well, geog notes to finish and finding someone to help me print.
BE MY VALENTINE. yay........
fkiit.
valentine reject over and out,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
yes, life is as screwed up as ever.
friggin being told all the crap i don't want to know.
so f-ed up. everything. srsly.
well, geog notes to finish and finding someone to help me print.
BE MY VALENTINE. yay........
fkiit.
valentine reject over and out,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
6:35 PM
0 commented
6:35 PM
0 commented
Sunday, February 08, 2009
♥ This Time
you don't have to call anymore, cos i won't pick up the phone.
yay. another day of maths......need to study bio and physics later........omfg...then there's uhh, physics workbook..i didn't bring home to do....darn it. i'm bored. can't study...no motivation. gosh, some ass is talking to me on msn. so friggin irritating. i could kill him. ughhh. go away...
i'm a nice person, i treat brown cows very nice.
but brown cows are mean, therefore i am anti-brown cows.
mops has burnt her tongue. hahah. hee. well, poor thing yeah. okok, got nothing for this week left. sep that i can't wait for vday. presents please? haha. ok, i got high on math now i'm high on...nothing. mann. this sucks. school tomorrow. first monday. gosh, i'm still drowning in work. crap loads of work at it. i'm happy though. to finally be occupied. i get to read more sarah manning books next week! or this coming week. yay. hahaha. i want to read bout the girl falling for her gay friend. so cool. ok,
signing off with gay love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
yay. another day of maths......need to study bio and physics later........omfg...then there's uhh, physics workbook..i didn't bring home to do....darn it. i'm bored. can't study...no motivation. gosh, some ass is talking to me on msn. so friggin irritating. i could kill him. ughhh. go away...
i'm a nice person, i treat brown cows very nice.
but brown cows are mean, therefore i am anti-brown cows.
mops has burnt her tongue. hahah. hee. well, poor thing yeah. okok, got nothing for this week left. sep that i can't wait for vday. presents please? haha. ok, i got high on math now i'm high on...nothing. mann. this sucks. school tomorrow. first monday. gosh, i'm still drowning in work. crap loads of work at it. i'm happy though. to finally be occupied. i get to read more sarah manning books next week! or this coming week. yay. hahaha. i want to read bout the girl falling for her gay friend. so cool. ok,
signing off with gay love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
4:09 PM
0 commented
4:09 PM
0 commented
Saturday, February 07, 2009
♥ MADNESS much
yes, i think i'm officially cracking. i'm so damn lost!!! like or not to like! he doesn't even care mann! ughhhh! kill me?
studied history and math. trigo ratio. barely finished. srsly.
i've got a problem. i think i like beautiful stranger. like, i don't want to! but it's there. gosh. ok. i can't stop thinking of him! it's madness!!! i'm going nuts! when he doesn't reply, i can't concentrate on studying.....i start thinking why. i'm so done for... I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS! i didn't come here and sign up for some fall in infatuation/whatever and get messed up...AGAIN. AHHHHHHH! i think i need to switch brains...or heart! or both! srsly! or maybe a new life? i feel like a stalker. for watching him... he's not even all that. he's just..different....omg! not another one of those crushes play thing! please! go away stupid thing! i'm so sick& tired!
the only good thing is that i didn't scare him away with ex-emo-whatever disease. i just want to see him smile. be near him...and i'm satisfied. i sound like a stalker!!!!!!! UGH! i'm so gross! WHY NOW. WHY HIM. WHY ME!
AH! Vday in bout a week. hope there will be chocolates. hahah. last year wa fun. godiva from HIM*, big box of ferrero with 5 hershey white choco bar. omg. nonono. painful. ok, just hope this year will be good...he's currently on msn! but! away....watching tv. how nice. yes. he's gonna try to be nice...but abandoned me. oh well. that's life. ok, i think this is too much. i should really stop being such a freak. ahhhhhh. he brings out the freak in me? nahh, the real me. gosh. this is so weird!!!!!!
OHOH! PEOPLE in hcis! Assuar is going to canada to study! he's so nice& sweet! srsly. one of the most mature in our class last year first term. so sad he had to leave...stupid. he could have stayed! AHHH. so sad! anyway, smart ass is going canada.
i'm so drained but still loving,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
studied history and math. trigo ratio. barely finished. srsly.
i've got a problem. i think i like beautiful stranger. like, i don't want to! but it's there. gosh. ok. i can't stop thinking of him! it's madness!!! i'm going nuts! when he doesn't reply, i can't concentrate on studying.....i start thinking why. i'm so done for... I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS! i didn't come here and sign up for some fall in infatuation/whatever and get messed up...AGAIN. AHHHHHHH! i think i need to switch brains...or heart! or both! srsly! or maybe a new life? i feel like a stalker. for watching him... he's not even all that. he's just..different....omg! not another one of those crushes play thing! please! go away stupid thing! i'm so sick& tired!
the only good thing is that i didn't scare him away with ex-emo-whatever disease. i just want to see him smile. be near him...and i'm satisfied. i sound like a stalker!!!!!!! UGH! i'm so gross! WHY NOW. WHY HIM. WHY ME!
AH! Vday in bout a week. hope there will be chocolates. hahah. last year wa fun. godiva from HIM*, big box of ferrero with 5 hershey white choco bar. omg. nonono. painful. ok, just hope this year will be good...he's currently on msn! but! away....watching tv. how nice. yes. he's gonna try to be nice...but abandoned me. oh well. that's life. ok, i think this is too much. i should really stop being such a freak. ahhhhhh. he brings out the freak in me? nahh, the real me. gosh. this is so weird!!!!!!
OHOH! PEOPLE in hcis! Assuar is going to canada to study! he's so nice& sweet! srsly. one of the most mature in our class last year first term. so sad he had to leave...stupid. he could have stayed! AHHH. so sad! anyway, smart ass is going canada.
i'm so drained but still loving,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
9:51 PM
0 commented
9:51 PM
0 commented
Friday, February 06, 2009
♥ lovelovelovelovelovelovelove
i decided that i am bored. ok, maybe just disappointed.
let's write nonsense. i'm feeling up to it. i hope.
with you i suddenly cry,
so easily i don't have to try.
something tells me you're different,
but lover or friend i can't tell.
see when i first saw you,
i couldn't help but notice your every move.
i'm your stalker or so it feels,
this feeling is so new.
i want to solve this mystery,
and forget all the past love history.
NEXT.
dreams of blank,
and a heart that sank.
all these cut but stays a memory,
of the past and what used to be.
take a peek at that stranger,
i can't possibly figure out.
he's got a hold on my heart,
and the cure to the cuts.
beautiful stranger has got me weak,
but no answer to him, my mystery.
XOXO.
sarah.
let's write nonsense. i'm feeling up to it. i hope.
with you i suddenly cry,
so easily i don't have to try.
something tells me you're different,
but lover or friend i can't tell.
see when i first saw you,
i couldn't help but notice your every move.
i'm your stalker or so it feels,
this feeling is so new.
i want to solve this mystery,
and forget all the past love history.
NEXT.
dreams of blank,
and a heart that sank.
all these cut but stays a memory,
of the past and what used to be.
take a peek at that stranger,
i can't possibly figure out.
he's got a hold on my heart,
and the cure to the cuts.
beautiful stranger has got me weak,
but no answer to him, my mystery.
XOXO.
sarah.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
10:24 PM
0 commented
10:24 PM
0 commented
♥ strange things happen
cos when i see you, i lose all senses.
funny how i think about you when i really really have no intention to like you.
i'm going nuts! yay me! so friggin tired. was supposed to blog more! i need to study!!!!!!!! no motivation.....sleepy! stupid retarded brown cow. nvm. i shall be nice. gosh, i'm a super extra in school and i ahte it to the core though the people try their best i guess....need time...i guess. ugh. want to go SAIS but too expensive for all 4. oh well. i wanna go back to singapore!!! screwed up life more than ever. want to faint. i'm so zonked right now.
CHELLO love!
karmello, saroach, shelleh? and belimmo!
spread-the-love!
let's mourn valentine's day. no date, no plans. yay me! studying at home. i'm so cool..........wth.
tuning out with love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
funny how i think about you when i really really have no intention to like you.
i'm going nuts! yay me! so friggin tired. was supposed to blog more! i need to study!!!!!!!! no motivation.....sleepy! stupid retarded brown cow. nvm. i shall be nice. gosh, i'm a super extra in school and i ahte it to the core though the people try their best i guess....need time...i guess. ugh. want to go SAIS but too expensive for all 4. oh well. i wanna go back to singapore!!! screwed up life more than ever. want to faint. i'm so zonked right now.
CHELLO love!
karmello, saroach, shelleh? and belimmo!
spread-the-love!
let's mourn valentine's day. no date, no plans. yay me! studying at home. i'm so cool..........wth.
tuning out with love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
10:00 PM
0 commented
10:00 PM
0 commented
Thursday, February 05, 2009
♥ rushrushrush
mad rush, gotta make a snappy one.
first day at ssis.
kinda cool, wicked. cold. weird physics' teacher, nice english teacher, weird pe teacher and retarded drama teacher. i feel so stressed. everybody's talking to me now.. omfg...it's only nine but feels like ten-ish. so friggin tired today, but i love it. not complaining. life's awesome. made friends(thanks to brownie stealer), brenna, anna, hilary, katrina? and yadayadayada...guys i can't even remember. hahahhaha. ok. need to do romeo&julieta; willy as brenna would say, HOMEWORK. yay. we all love homework....major mugging. hahahhahah. i want to sleep! but i want to use the comp and study. ok. shall get down to BUSINESS. ok......too much distractions! blinking orange lights. tmr is killer. english, chem, d&t, math, history and chinese! wth.... okok.
sypnosis of r&j and interesting facts of willy. NOW. yes. ok. damn.
all fall down love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
first day at ssis.
kinda cool, wicked. cold. weird physics' teacher, nice english teacher, weird pe teacher and retarded drama teacher. i feel so stressed. everybody's talking to me now.. omfg...it's only nine but feels like ten-ish. so friggin tired today, but i love it. not complaining. life's awesome. made friends(thanks to brownie stealer), brenna, anna, hilary, katrina? and yadayadayada...guys i can't even remember. hahahhaha. ok. need to do romeo&julieta; willy as brenna would say, HOMEWORK. yay. we all love homework....major mugging. hahahhahah. i want to sleep! but i want to use the comp and study. ok. shall get down to BUSINESS. ok......too much distractions! blinking orange lights. tmr is killer. english, chem, d&t, math, history and chinese! wth.... okok.
sypnosis of r&j and interesting facts of willy. NOW. yes. ok. damn.
all fall down love,
sarah.
xoxoxxx.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:49 PM
0 commented
8:49 PM
0 commented
Monday, February 02, 2009
♥ Mothership Strawberries; Reisling
I love white wine.
i bought beads!!!!!! 2 long strands of 'pearls', about 4 packets of beads, 2 rolls of stretchy string and gift pouches all for only 18SGD. wth right? i know.
so, went bead hunting today and was SUCCESSFUL. obviously.
watched changeling yesterday.
so damn sad.
stupid people kill children for fun, 'sholes.
get a life mann, ugh. OH. bryan and mervynn got a new pupp. named brownie! so friggin adorable!!!!!!! it's a she. chocolate colour, mini poodle. pics asap, not now.
spent bout 2 hours playing with it at their place.
only 3 months old. srsly? oh and you can get a hamster for about 3SGD here. ticho got one. so damn cute.
laods happening as usual but i feel empty.
strange?
screw life....
it's all the same,
xoxoxxx.
sarah.
i bought beads!!!!!! 2 long strands of 'pearls', about 4 packets of beads, 2 rolls of stretchy string and gift pouches all for only 18SGD. wth right? i know.
so, went bead hunting today and was SUCCESSFUL. obviously.
watched changeling yesterday.
so damn sad.
stupid people kill children for fun, 'sholes.
get a life mann, ugh. OH. bryan and mervynn got a new pupp. named brownie! so friggin adorable!!!!!!! it's a she. chocolate colour, mini poodle. pics asap, not now.
spent bout 2 hours playing with it at their place.
only 3 months old. srsly? oh and you can get a hamster for about 3SGD here. ticho got one. so damn cute.
laods happening as usual but i feel empty.
strange?
screw life....
it's all the same,
xoxoxxx.
sarah.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
9:11 PM
0 commented
9:11 PM
0 commented