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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

♥ Skip Along The Road To Happy

where everything will be a lie,
so go along and skip happily away and sing Your Love Is A Lie by Simple Plan.
Cos that's what you seem to think.
You're so damn annoying.

I'm ready world! To fly away from my ugly past and ignore all the unimportant negatives. yeah, it's one of those feelings again. i need to cry and let it all out cos i seriously hate that i can't continue my passion where i can forget all this plus HE still thinks that he understands me or can. I hate carrying the pain alone, no way to let it out. I don't write anymore. I feel so screwed up blog. He's gaming now and i'm lost. No one can help me...I'm not joking. I never was. Maybe i should read a walk to remember again or one of nicholas sparks' books to cover up when i cry. I don't say a lot that i want to happen and only dearest pido, you lighten my world and you're everything i need to help me live this life i declare, condemned. I want to watch Juno or something. I'm going to let it all out first. I've thought about going back to him but, i ask myself why. Then i realised with gigi's help that, i'll only be getting back with him because i don't wish to see him hurt like that. Don't get me wrong dear reader, i don't love him like that. I just don't like feeling the hurt he feels. yeah i'm a freak, i feel what others feel. Cool huh? He says its my insecurity that led him to dumping me. Stupid i'd say. I realised that day, when every single feeling i thought i could forget came back to me, that i can't deceive myself anymore. I will live a life where i'd be misunderstood and no one can understand me the way i wish they could. But dearest, you're different. Though you broke my heart once, i just know it's you that i can trust, lean on and live with.
Right now, i don't wish to talk to anyone cos it's my nature to keep everything to me. yeah, this isn't everything. I won't open up myself now. Maybe to pido later if he asks. It just feels like i can't take anymore of it. So now i ask myself, why do i feel a very very strong urge to let the feelings pour out? I say because right now, with all these being thrown upon me, that's the best i can make. It's just so sad that they can't see how important dancing is to me, my life. Every step, every beat and every dance, it eases my mind. It reminds me of life. Ballet was a medicine for me then till i gave up, cos no one supported me. It starts easy then gradually becomes harder and challenging, and after all the obstacles i enjoy it. Life- is easy at first until we are exposed to many things we didn't know even existed. Only when we learn and understand do we get to enjoy it. Anyway, i'll stop here.



sarah.

♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:37 PM
0 commented

♥ Blissed Lover ;

    Sarah
    Dancer
    Taurus
    Lover&Loved

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