Friday, May 18, 2007
It's one day after i officially turn 13 and yet, it feels like any other day. Got back 3 papers. Lit, Eng & Maths. I've improved i'm proud to say. But i wouldn't know if i deproved in english. I can't say, but i know i've tried my best and will work even harder next term. I've read my sworn sister's blog, and it saddens me. A LOT. I will try my utmost best to call her and help her. Death isn't the way to solve all your problems ryl. It's called taking the easy way out. As your sworn sister, i shall promise to try to help you in whatever i can. I can say the hurt we feel nobody can understand and yet, it's all too much for one to bear. Life is complicated and is filled with fun happy crazy days and also, sad heart breaking days where you just want to end it all. But, we've been given a life, that we should treasure. I may seem happy right now but,i know that it'll all end very soon. very soon.
You feel so lost,
and everything's in a mess.
You don't know what it'll cost,
but by ending it all you think is the best.
I don't know but i just somehow managed to do this in 4 mins. I know ryl, that life is really getting hard. I understand what your going through, though it may seem that nobody could ever. I see the pain and saddness. Believe me what i say are true. I know you've matured and i believe it too. I got no mood to type anymore this way. I'm just going to type more poems and just post this.
The pain i feel,
the words i hear,
all too much for me to take.
I'm lost for words,
i'm bleeding so.
No one to save me.
I live in fear,
i can't write anymore,
it's just too much for one to bear.
-(This poem was written last year when i was really depressed and feeling really left out.)
This year's ones.....
It's just a few, i've written 100+ poems since April. But not everyday i write a poem. It's when i'm free and don't know how else to express myself.Oh! and the 100+ poems include couplets(two lines that rhyme).
Even if i'm in a wreck,
i'll be alright.
My friends got my back,
in the dark they are my light.
-(This one's to my friends.)
I feel so empty,
i can't think properly.
My problems aplenty,
and soon it'll be infinity.
-(i don't really like this one, i don't know...)
Feel so alone,
but i'm still standing strong.
I'll be all wrong,
but life still has to go on.
-(nothing much. i think this is okay.)
Always helping me up when i fall,
answering to all my calls.
Listening to all my troubles,
making sure i don't crumble.
-(once again this is for my friends.)
When you've lost something dear to you,
you don't know what your supposed to do.
You try to stay cool,
and at the same time your loosing it too.
-(this is to Zoey, i wrote it after reading a post. i think she'll know what i mean.)
Wondering how you'll live on,
when life's getting unbearable.
Wondering what you've done,
the pain's unstoppable.
-(this was written when i received hell from 'her'. I seriously don't know what to say...)
There's nothing i gain,
with my heart filled with pain.
All i know coming my way is trouble,
and soon it'll all double.
-(This one was when i was really lost and all...)
I'm tired of living this life,
nothing just seems to go right.
The weight of the pain far from light,
ending it all i might.
-(this was when i was really feeling like ending it all, crying like hell and next day my eyes were swollen and i couldn't put my contacts on...)
The pain's still here,
it's voice i still hear.
It's not leaving,
& not i'm bleeding.
-(this was when i really really didn't know who to turn to, my life was then really unbearable like the pain...)
My heart's drowning in the pain,
worse than the stroke of the cane.
It's making me go insane,
no way for it to be tame.
-(yeah, this was when i was really low , miserable and lost?...)
Your back to your usual self,
making me feel like i'm back on that dusty shelf.
Deceived by the words you said,
a broken heart's what you made.
-(this was when i felt really left out again?...)
Thought we'd be together forever,
but now here your telling me that we're over.
-(the first couplet that you've read so far.)
The time when all i wrote was for Zoey, in a way i felt her pain and roughly what she was going through...these are the poems:
Life's getting hard to live,
your sad inside though on the outside your smiling.
What's happening you don't want to believe,
it's hard for you to accept it but your really trying.
Just let it all out,
even if you have to shout.
Loosing someone close to your heart is painful,
seeing them slowly fade away could kill you.
Accepting the truth the one you love so dear,
is soon about to disappear.
You still wish they would stay right here,
the day they go is what you fear.
You blink back tears,
your loosing someone dear.
You feel so empty,
but you have to accept reality.
Watching someone close to your hear go through so much of pain,
it could drive your heart insane.
Yet you can't do anything to stop it,
not even a tiny bit.
You feel useless,
you find life pointless.
And as your innerself is dying,
you can't stop crying.
You don't know what to do,
it feels lie it's all over for you.
-(this one is my feelings mixed to what zoey was going through...)
Your energy's all drained,
yet the pain remains.
You want it to go away,
but it just keeps getting worse each day.
-(this is the last one...on to other poems!...)
Feelings in a mess,
this i confess.
I need to know if i like you,
at the same time i want to know if you feel anything for me too.
My 100th poem in my book:
Never felt this way before,
each day my love for you is more.
don't know why i even love you.
But i want to know if you feel the same too.
Then we could get to know wach other,
but that could come later.
I just need you to tell me,
if you think we'd make it.
These were written not too long ago:
Those words spoken,
stabs just like the knife.
The hear that's broken,
it's so hard just to live this life.
The anger vented,
the life so broken.
The heart shattered,
by those words spoken.
The endless tears,
the unstoppable flow.
The last fear,
is the final blow.
The piercing sting,
makes hatred grow deeper.
They say it's nothing,
the pain enriches.
This life no one can understand,
the amount of pain one has to bear.
The heart no one can mend,
right now it feels like no one cares.
That's it for now, these are just some poems. The very first one is dedicated to ryl. I may not be the best or even be up to your expectations, but i like my poems the way they are and you don't need to like them. It's a way of expressing how i feel and the life around me. Forgive me if i made speeling errors or whatsoever. I think i should end here. Chao.
Oh. received 4 presents from frens today and 1 bdae letter. =)
thank ya'll.
You feel so lost,
and everything's in a mess.
You don't know what it'll cost,
but by ending it all you think is the best.
I don't know but i just somehow managed to do this in 4 mins. I know ryl, that life is really getting hard. I understand what your going through, though it may seem that nobody could ever. I see the pain and saddness. Believe me what i say are true. I know you've matured and i believe it too. I got no mood to type anymore this way. I'm just going to type more poems and just post this.
The pain i feel,
the words i hear,
all too much for me to take.
I'm lost for words,
i'm bleeding so.
No one to save me.
I live in fear,
i can't write anymore,
it's just too much for one to bear.
-(This poem was written last year when i was really depressed and feeling really left out.)
This year's ones.....
It's just a few, i've written 100+ poems since April. But not everyday i write a poem. It's when i'm free and don't know how else to express myself.Oh! and the 100+ poems include couplets(two lines that rhyme).
Even if i'm in a wreck,
i'll be alright.
My friends got my back,
in the dark they are my light.
-(This one's to my friends.)
I feel so empty,
i can't think properly.
My problems aplenty,
and soon it'll be infinity.
-(i don't really like this one, i don't know...)
Feel so alone,
but i'm still standing strong.
I'll be all wrong,
but life still has to go on.
-(nothing much. i think this is okay.)
Always helping me up when i fall,
answering to all my calls.
Listening to all my troubles,
making sure i don't crumble.
-(once again this is for my friends.)
When you've lost something dear to you,
you don't know what your supposed to do.
You try to stay cool,
and at the same time your loosing it too.
-(this is to Zoey, i wrote it after reading a post. i think she'll know what i mean.)
Wondering how you'll live on,
when life's getting unbearable.
Wondering what you've done,
the pain's unstoppable.
-(this was written when i received hell from 'her'. I seriously don't know what to say...)
There's nothing i gain,
with my heart filled with pain.
All i know coming my way is trouble,
and soon it'll all double.
-(This one was when i was really lost and all...)
I'm tired of living this life,
nothing just seems to go right.
The weight of the pain far from light,
ending it all i might.
-(this was when i was really feeling like ending it all, crying like hell and next day my eyes were swollen and i couldn't put my contacts on...)
The pain's still here,
it's voice i still hear.
It's not leaving,
& not i'm bleeding.
-(this was when i really really didn't know who to turn to, my life was then really unbearable like the pain...)
My heart's drowning in the pain,
worse than the stroke of the cane.
It's making me go insane,
no way for it to be tame.
-(yeah, this was when i was really low , miserable and lost?...)
Your back to your usual self,
making me feel like i'm back on that dusty shelf.
Deceived by the words you said,
a broken heart's what you made.
-(this was when i felt really left out again?...)
Thought we'd be together forever,
but now here your telling me that we're over.
-(the first couplet that you've read so far.)
The time when all i wrote was for Zoey, in a way i felt her pain and roughly what she was going through...these are the poems:
Life's getting hard to live,
your sad inside though on the outside your smiling.
What's happening you don't want to believe,
it's hard for you to accept it but your really trying.
Just let it all out,
even if you have to shout.
Loosing someone close to your heart is painful,
seeing them slowly fade away could kill you.
Accepting the truth the one you love so dear,
is soon about to disappear.
You still wish they would stay right here,
the day they go is what you fear.
You blink back tears,
your loosing someone dear.
You feel so empty,
but you have to accept reality.
Watching someone close to your hear go through so much of pain,
it could drive your heart insane.
Yet you can't do anything to stop it,
not even a tiny bit.
You feel useless,
you find life pointless.
And as your innerself is dying,
you can't stop crying.
You don't know what to do,
it feels lie it's all over for you.
-(this one is my feelings mixed to what zoey was going through...)
Your energy's all drained,
yet the pain remains.
You want it to go away,
but it just keeps getting worse each day.
-(this is the last one...on to other poems!...)
Feelings in a mess,
this i confess.
I need to know if i like you,
at the same time i want to know if you feel anything for me too.
My 100th poem in my book:
Never felt this way before,
each day my love for you is more.
don't know why i even love you.
But i want to know if you feel the same too.
Then we could get to know wach other,
but that could come later.
I just need you to tell me,
if you think we'd make it.
These were written not too long ago:
Those words spoken,
stabs just like the knife.
The hear that's broken,
it's so hard just to live this life.
The anger vented,
the life so broken.
The heart shattered,
by those words spoken.
The endless tears,
the unstoppable flow.
The last fear,
is the final blow.
The piercing sting,
makes hatred grow deeper.
They say it's nothing,
the pain enriches.
This life no one can understand,
the amount of pain one has to bear.
The heart no one can mend,
right now it feels like no one cares.
That's it for now, these are just some poems. The very first one is dedicated to ryl. I may not be the best or even be up to your expectations, but i like my poems the way they are and you don't need to like them. It's a way of expressing how i feel and the life around me. Forgive me if i made speeling errors or whatsoever. I think i should end here. Chao.
Oh. received 4 presents from frens today and 1 bdae letter. =)
thank ya'll.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
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5:27 PM
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