Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Heyy! Okay, right now i'm like really pissed with my younger brother. Lol. okay. nvm. Just added a few songs to this blog. hmm. Sean's OP's a SUCCESS!YAY! hmmm. He's knocked out. in ICU. He'll be on fluid's for 5days. Will be going out with buo mu tml, then will go drop by to visit him. Life's so boring. everyday, Aaron just uses the computer, so i'm left with the tv since the laptop is down. So, i've to nag at Aaron before i can use the computer. Aaron protests thathis life doesn't depend on the computer when it does! He's throwing a temper because he can't use it now. ARGH! I hate seeing his annoying 'i-want-to-use-the-comp' face. It's like WTH! And now, he says, what i'm blogging are 'FAMILY SECRETS'. GOSH! I'm going to die! I just blogged about the happenings!!! oh my gosh1 i'm going to die! ARGH! INFURIATING! Haish. He won't even let me blog in peace. He says, he and Sean will be famous soon. Like...WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!? ANyway, will blog pictures another day. when i upload them! SORRY! XD well, nothing much. gotta go. Aaron might just die any moment if he can't use the computer! =.= okay. CHAO!~
OH! i've decided, i like this blogskin. so i'm keeping it! XD
OH! i've decided, i like this blogskin. so i'm keeping it! XD
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
6:40 PM
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6:40 PM
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Monday, May 28, 2007
Heyys! CRAZY DAY! BORED TILL I COULD DIE! I was practically melting in this cage!!!! Hot like hell? hmmm. okay...nothing much. kinda distracted. watching tv! XD okay. yesturday was Sean's day. We went to watch POTC3 at world's end. he probably won't be able to move around for at least 2mths...haish. I've decided to suffer with him and not go to the movies without him. That is if it's a family thingy and all. He went to the hospital today. Tomorrow's his op. haish. everything will be okay. i know. i hope so. Okay..nothing much. gotta go. night. will post pitures tml. CHAO!
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
9:42 PM
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9:42 PM
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Saturday, May 26, 2007
Hey! Lots to tell! First, as ya'll know, MYE's are LONG OVER, results are OUT & report cards have been given out! HORRIBLE! Well, for me. 13th position. Dropped. Elizabeth's in my position....5th...Level position is HORRIBLE too! Anyway, this makes me want to study more. But, i'll be stressing more. Next term, i'll be studying 2 syllubus! Opps. Not sure if the spelling's correct. Oh. Anyway, 1 for KC exam's the other syllubus for my diagnostic test to 'the other school'. Okay. Super crazy! I'm going to study like crazy. June holidays are here, not play time. Sean's going for op on Thurs. Please, my dear friends, pray for him! PLEASE! I'm really scared!!! AHHHH! If...if...if...if...it doesn't come through...okay. nvm. i must think positive. I'm mental...i'm talking to myself...lol! Sorry! Oh. didn't manage to blog for about 2 days? My internet was down...Now is really late. For me. I just took my medicine. The one that'll knock me out soon! Lol. Will post pictures taken during baking sessions for Kc family day which was today. Oh. Today, woke up late. I'M UNWELL!!! Hmm. went to school still!!!! Was so so so so sick! Throat was so dry and my nose was irritating. Well, i could say that the sale of food was at least okay. Nothing much really. Went home around 2 plus reached home around 3 plus. Watched TV until just a few minutes ago. Going to sleep soon. I'm leaving out lots of details, as any moment i'll be knocked out by the medicine i took. Oh! Sean went to highlight his hair, looked kinda okay. Daddy asked me whether i wanted to highlight my hair but i didn't want to. Well, Gtg! Got some stuff to do before going to sleep! Throat is killing me! Okay. Night! Chao!
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:59 PM
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8:59 PM
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Heyy! Today, Van came over. We tried out the rrecipe for the Peanut Butter Cookies & Chocolate Chip cookies. It was HORRIBLE! both were too salty! ahha. had lotsa fun! tml going to start baking for family day! CLARA's COMING!!!! YAYS! SUPPORT 1-OH-3!!! XD Blegh. anyways, nothing much. Tomorrow's photo taking for Class & CCA. Rush!!! Tomorrow will be really hectic! Only wearing uniform for CCA grp photo taking... Anyway, gtg. Chao!~ Btw, this blogskin is tempo. Will be changing again. Haha. Anyway, really gtg. NIGHTS! CHAO!~ No colour...sth wrong with my blogger. to heck with it. SORRY! Well. NIGHTS. BYE!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
10:05 PM
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10:05 PM
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Monday, May 21, 2007
Heyy. today was really low day for me? hmms. nth much. just really low. but at the end of school, some of my frens were helping me with my splinter. Lol. i was like some mad woman mini shouting, ouch.okay, went to see the docter and she used a needle and poked at the scab thing. well, kinda hurts but now its healing. which is sad. i want it to hurt. lol. so fun. have to apply some cream and take antibiotic. 2 times a day. and i'm given this solution to clean the 'wound'. 2 times a day.... haish. well, nth much. really slack. overall for eng, tho the grade was really low, i'm 3rd in class. b4 for science and chinese improved but it's still not good enough...b3... well...gtg. bye!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
9:42 PM
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9:42 PM
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Saturday, May 19, 2007
Heyy! Today was super fun, super cool and super wet! haha. Today we had the bonding session thingy with our cathecists and YF's. It was soooooooo fun! but having not been under the sun for a long time for long hours, i have sun burn on my face and knee! & it hurts whenever i touch my face. Anyway, we played Whacko, Spider Web thingy, Captain's ball, water bomb & Amazing race mixed with treasure hunt. Whacko was very fun and crazy. We didn't want to play so we stalled for time to waste time away without having to be tortured. Spider Web, was kinda crazy & noisy! Captain's ball was kinda unique and different then usual. We had three 'balls', 2 normal ones and a chicken(from first choice?LOL.) wrapped in the plastic still. Sooooooo fun!!! Oh! The part where the water bomb game started, at first i didn't want to play as i did not want to get wet but in the end i could not stand it! All of them were havng so much fun i just wanted to join in the fun! Well, lots happened. Bullied the YF who took care of us i think its stephen? Don't know...Lol. Cos there was this plastic fastener thing on ana-mei's hand and it was fastened toooo tight, so a scissors was needed to get it off. So before the amazing race mixed with treasure hunt game started, we( Francesca, Liz, Me, Vanessa & Ana-Mei herself) were bugging the YF to get a scissors. We were sooo desperate to get that plastic strap off ana-mei's hand, when the scissors came, it was like as if someone was saving us from death and the YF gave us some stupid look. haha. okay. that's the fun. will post late pictures another time. so tired! No time to come up with a poem.. or whatever. read SS's blog. seriously don't know what to do! Well, Love Ya'll!~ Byes!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
7:42 PM
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7:42 PM
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Friday, May 18, 2007
Heyy again. I'm bored and found this quiz i took interesting. i mean the answers.
This is interesting! haha!
This is even more interesting!XD
this might be interesting...
Don't get this one...what's butterfinger?
Lol? haha. cool?
Lol.....
this is....interesting in a weird way...haha
This is wayyyyyy stupid!but just did it out of boredom and fun?!
This is crazy!!!!
This ISN'T true! right? blegh... shldn't be!~
bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center>The Part of You That No One Sees
You are passionate, romantic, and emotional.
You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it.
You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out.
Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable.
Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there.
You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.
haha. that's all for now. will do more another time. chao!~
| What You Really Think Of Your Friends |
 Teresa is your soulmate. You truly love Luke. You consider Cheryl your true friend. You know that Zoey is always thinking of you. You'll remember Elizabeth for the rest of your life. You secretly think Nicole is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. You secretly think that Teresa is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. You secretly think that Suzanna is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Suzanna changes lovers faster than underwear. You secretly think Hazel is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Hazel has a hidden internet romance. |
This is interesting! haha!
| You Are 23% Bitchy |
 You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts. Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them! |
This is even more interesting!XD
| You Are a Very Good Girl |
 You are 90% Good and 10% Bad You're a perfect angel - almost impossibly so Don't you ever feel like being a little bad?!? |
this might be interesting...
| You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained |
 The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
| Your Sensitivity Score: 57% |
 As far as sensitivity goes, you're a lot more in tune than most people. You can't help but be touched by what's around you - good and bad. But when things do get really bad around you, you are strong enough not to break down. |
Don't get this one...what's butterfinger?
| Butterfinger |
 They call you sticky fingers for a reason! |
Lol? haha. cool?
| You Are a Candy Heart |
 You're definitely a pro when it comes to romance - and you have great dating etiquette. Plus you probably smell and taste pretty darn good. |
Lol.....
| You Are 12% Abnormal |
 You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer. |
this is....interesting in a weird way...haha
| Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating |
 You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility. |
| People Envy Your Compassion |
 You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them. |
This is wayyyyyy stupid!but just did it out of boredom and fun?!
| Your True Love's Name Is |
 |
This is crazy!!!!
| Your Uncommon Name Is: |
 |
This ISN'T true! right? blegh... shldn't be!~
| Guys Like That You're Charming |
 You're the girl most guys can't get out of their heads Even if they met you on a bad hair day :-) You just seem to "click" with everyone you meet So even if a guy forgets about you for a second... his friends haven't! |
| Your Summer Love Type is Go With the Flow |
 A great summer love may be in the cards for you ... or not. You'll have a fantastic time this summer, taking what comes. What you want is flexible - what you'll get is up in the air. No matter what, you'll have fun - and maybe a few flings! |
| What Sarah Means |
S is for Sensitive A is for Ambitious R is for Relaxed A is for Animated H is for Hardworking |
| Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner |
 See her whole playlist here (iTunes required) |
| Your Depression Level: 48% |
 You seem to have mild depression. A lot of people fall into your range, and it's quite possible you don't need treatment. If you've been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help. |
| Your Birthdate: May 17 |
 You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August |
| You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish |
Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible. |
| Your Extroversion Profile: |
 Friendliness: Very High Sociability: High Cheerfulness: Medium Activity Level: Low Assertiveness: Low Excitement Seeking: Low |
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front. Shy and private, you yearn for security. You take relationships slowly. You need lots of reassurances before you can trust. |
| You Are More Mild Than Wild |
 You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are. Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive. |
| Your French Name is: |
 |
| Your Love Element Is Earth |
 In love, you have consistency and integrity. For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered. You attract others with your zest for life and experiences. Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time. Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life. You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk. You connect best with: Fire Avoid: Wood You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation |
| What People Think of Your Mouth |
 People see you both as mysterious and exotic. You definitely have cultivated your own unique interests and lifestyle. Brainy and quick witted, you aren't one for superficial friendships. But if someone can make you laugh or think, they'll likely be your friend for life. |
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
| You Are 36% Girly |
 You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way. |
| You Are 44% Lady |
 You're part lady, part modern woman. Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly. |
| What Your Face Says |
 At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody. |
| Your Birthdate: May 17 |
 You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single. Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you! Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month. |
| Your Life is Rated PG |
 Your life is pretty family friendly. The worse someone is going to get from you is brief nudity or toilet humor. |
| Your Love Type: INFP |
 The Idealist In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up. Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space. Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ |
bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center>The Part of You That No One Sees
You are passionate, romantic, and emotional.
You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it.
You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out.
Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable.
Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there.
You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.
| You Are Sometimes Considered a Hot Chick |
 While you may not get the most offers in the room, You've got a good thing going - dating wise You could flirt more and dress up a bit to attract more guys But in general, you are doing just fine! |
| What Your Hands Say About You |
 You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills. Flexible and broad minded, you can fit in to any situation. There's no telling where your life will take you. Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life. Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things. |
| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
 Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered. |
| How You Are In Love |
 You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
| What Guys Think of Your Medium Straight Hair... |
 Smart, optimistic, easy going. You're the thinking man's ideal woman - bright, funny, and no drama. |
| You Are 9% Scary |
 You're so perfect that it actually is a little scary. Men keep waiting for your dark side to appear, but it just doesn't exist! |
| You are Ready to Date Again |
 If you're not out there already, you should be. Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship. Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage. Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him. Now, on to a better guy :-) It's time for you to start dating! Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites. Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights. |
haha. that's all for now. will do more another time. chao!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
6:50 PM
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6:50 PM
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It's one day after i officially turn 13 and yet, it feels like any other day. Got back 3 papers. Lit, Eng & Maths. I've improved i'm proud to say. But i wouldn't know if i deproved in english. I can't say, but i know i've tried my best and will work even harder next term. I've read my sworn sister's blog, and it saddens me. A LOT. I will try my utmost best to call her and help her. Death isn't the way to solve all your problems ryl. It's called taking the easy way out. As your sworn sister, i shall promise to try to help you in whatever i can. I can say the hurt we feel nobody can understand and yet, it's all too much for one to bear. Life is complicated and is filled with fun happy crazy days and also, sad heart breaking days where you just want to end it all. But, we've been given a life, that we should treasure. I may seem happy right now but,i know that it'll all end very soon. very soon.
You feel so lost,
and everything's in a mess.
You don't know what it'll cost,
but by ending it all you think is the best.
I don't know but i just somehow managed to do this in 4 mins. I know ryl, that life is really getting hard. I understand what your going through, though it may seem that nobody could ever. I see the pain and saddness. Believe me what i say are true. I know you've matured and i believe it too. I got no mood to type anymore this way. I'm just going to type more poems and just post this.
The pain i feel,
the words i hear,
all too much for me to take.
I'm lost for words,
i'm bleeding so.
No one to save me.
I live in fear,
i can't write anymore,
it's just too much for one to bear.
-(This poem was written last year when i was really depressed and feeling really left out.)
This year's ones.....
It's just a few, i've written 100+ poems since April. But not everyday i write a poem. It's when i'm free and don't know how else to express myself.Oh! and the 100+ poems include couplets(two lines that rhyme).
Even if i'm in a wreck,
i'll be alright.
My friends got my back,
in the dark they are my light.
-(This one's to my friends.)
I feel so empty,
i can't think properly.
My problems aplenty,
and soon it'll be infinity.
-(i don't really like this one, i don't know...)
Feel so alone,
but i'm still standing strong.
I'll be all wrong,
but life still has to go on.
-(nothing much. i think this is okay.)
Always helping me up when i fall,
answering to all my calls.
Listening to all my troubles,
making sure i don't crumble.
-(once again this is for my friends.)
When you've lost something dear to you,
you don't know what your supposed to do.
You try to stay cool,
and at the same time your loosing it too.
-(this is to Zoey, i wrote it after reading a post. i think she'll know what i mean.)
Wondering how you'll live on,
when life's getting unbearable.
Wondering what you've done,
the pain's unstoppable.
-(this was written when i received hell from 'her'. I seriously don't know what to say...)
There's nothing i gain,
with my heart filled with pain.
All i know coming my way is trouble,
and soon it'll all double.
-(This one was when i was really lost and all...)
I'm tired of living this life,
nothing just seems to go right.
The weight of the pain far from light,
ending it all i might.
-(this was when i was really feeling like ending it all, crying like hell and next day my eyes were swollen and i couldn't put my contacts on...)
The pain's still here,
it's voice i still hear.
It's not leaving,
& not i'm bleeding.
-(this was when i really really didn't know who to turn to, my life was then really unbearable like the pain...)
My heart's drowning in the pain,
worse than the stroke of the cane.
It's making me go insane,
no way for it to be tame.
-(yeah, this was when i was really low , miserable and lost?...)
Your back to your usual self,
making me feel like i'm back on that dusty shelf.
Deceived by the words you said,
a broken heart's what you made.
-(this was when i felt really left out again?...)
Thought we'd be together forever,
but now here your telling me that we're over.
-(the first couplet that you've read so far.)
The time when all i wrote was for Zoey, in a way i felt her pain and roughly what she was going through...these are the poems:
Life's getting hard to live,
your sad inside though on the outside your smiling.
What's happening you don't want to believe,
it's hard for you to accept it but your really trying.
Just let it all out,
even if you have to shout.
Loosing someone close to your heart is painful,
seeing them slowly fade away could kill you.
Accepting the truth the one you love so dear,
is soon about to disappear.
You still wish they would stay right here,
the day they go is what you fear.
You blink back tears,
your loosing someone dear.
You feel so empty,
but you have to accept reality.
Watching someone close to your hear go through so much of pain,
it could drive your heart insane.
Yet you can't do anything to stop it,
not even a tiny bit.
You feel useless,
you find life pointless.
And as your innerself is dying,
you can't stop crying.
You don't know what to do,
it feels lie it's all over for you.
-(this one is my feelings mixed to what zoey was going through...)
Your energy's all drained,
yet the pain remains.
You want it to go away,
but it just keeps getting worse each day.
-(this is the last one...on to other poems!...)
Feelings in a mess,
this i confess.
I need to know if i like you,
at the same time i want to know if you feel anything for me too.
My 100th poem in my book:
Never felt this way before,
each day my love for you is more.
don't know why i even love you.
But i want to know if you feel the same too.
Then we could get to know wach other,
but that could come later.
I just need you to tell me,
if you think we'd make it.
These were written not too long ago:
Those words spoken,
stabs just like the knife.
The hear that's broken,
it's so hard just to live this life.
The anger vented,
the life so broken.
The heart shattered,
by those words spoken.
The endless tears,
the unstoppable flow.
The last fear,
is the final blow.
The piercing sting,
makes hatred grow deeper.
They say it's nothing,
the pain enriches.
This life no one can understand,
the amount of pain one has to bear.
The heart no one can mend,
right now it feels like no one cares.
That's it for now, these are just some poems. The very first one is dedicated to ryl. I may not be the best or even be up to your expectations, but i like my poems the way they are and you don't need to like them. It's a way of expressing how i feel and the life around me. Forgive me if i made speeling errors or whatsoever. I think i should end here. Chao.
Oh. received 4 presents from frens today and 1 bdae letter. =)
thank ya'll.
You feel so lost,
and everything's in a mess.
You don't know what it'll cost,
but by ending it all you think is the best.
I don't know but i just somehow managed to do this in 4 mins. I know ryl, that life is really getting hard. I understand what your going through, though it may seem that nobody could ever. I see the pain and saddness. Believe me what i say are true. I know you've matured and i believe it too. I got no mood to type anymore this way. I'm just going to type more poems and just post this.
The pain i feel,
the words i hear,
all too much for me to take.
I'm lost for words,
i'm bleeding so.
No one to save me.
I live in fear,
i can't write anymore,
it's just too much for one to bear.
-(This poem was written last year when i was really depressed and feeling really left out.)
This year's ones.....
It's just a few, i've written 100+ poems since April. But not everyday i write a poem. It's when i'm free and don't know how else to express myself.Oh! and the 100+ poems include couplets(two lines that rhyme).
Even if i'm in a wreck,
i'll be alright.
My friends got my back,
in the dark they are my light.
-(This one's to my friends.)
I feel so empty,
i can't think properly.
My problems aplenty,
and soon it'll be infinity.
-(i don't really like this one, i don't know...)
Feel so alone,
but i'm still standing strong.
I'll be all wrong,
but life still has to go on.
-(nothing much. i think this is okay.)
Always helping me up when i fall,
answering to all my calls.
Listening to all my troubles,
making sure i don't crumble.
-(once again this is for my friends.)
When you've lost something dear to you,
you don't know what your supposed to do.
You try to stay cool,
and at the same time your loosing it too.
-(this is to Zoey, i wrote it after reading a post. i think she'll know what i mean.)
Wondering how you'll live on,
when life's getting unbearable.
Wondering what you've done,
the pain's unstoppable.
-(this was written when i received hell from 'her'. I seriously don't know what to say...)
There's nothing i gain,
with my heart filled with pain.
All i know coming my way is trouble,
and soon it'll all double.
-(This one was when i was really lost and all...)
I'm tired of living this life,
nothing just seems to go right.
The weight of the pain far from light,
ending it all i might.
-(this was when i was really feeling like ending it all, crying like hell and next day my eyes were swollen and i couldn't put my contacts on...)
The pain's still here,
it's voice i still hear.
It's not leaving,
& not i'm bleeding.
-(this was when i really really didn't know who to turn to, my life was then really unbearable like the pain...)
My heart's drowning in the pain,
worse than the stroke of the cane.
It's making me go insane,
no way for it to be tame.
-(yeah, this was when i was really low , miserable and lost?...)
Your back to your usual self,
making me feel like i'm back on that dusty shelf.
Deceived by the words you said,
a broken heart's what you made.
-(this was when i felt really left out again?...)
Thought we'd be together forever,
but now here your telling me that we're over.
-(the first couplet that you've read so far.)
The time when all i wrote was for Zoey, in a way i felt her pain and roughly what she was going through...these are the poems:
Life's getting hard to live,
your sad inside though on the outside your smiling.
What's happening you don't want to believe,
it's hard for you to accept it but your really trying.
Just let it all out,
even if you have to shout.
Loosing someone close to your heart is painful,
seeing them slowly fade away could kill you.
Accepting the truth the one you love so dear,
is soon about to disappear.
You still wish they would stay right here,
the day they go is what you fear.
You blink back tears,
your loosing someone dear.
You feel so empty,
but you have to accept reality.
Watching someone close to your hear go through so much of pain,
it could drive your heart insane.
Yet you can't do anything to stop it,
not even a tiny bit.
You feel useless,
you find life pointless.
And as your innerself is dying,
you can't stop crying.
You don't know what to do,
it feels lie it's all over for you.
-(this one is my feelings mixed to what zoey was going through...)
Your energy's all drained,
yet the pain remains.
You want it to go away,
but it just keeps getting worse each day.
-(this is the last one...on to other poems!...)
Feelings in a mess,
this i confess.
I need to know if i like you,
at the same time i want to know if you feel anything for me too.
My 100th poem in my book:
Never felt this way before,
each day my love for you is more.
don't know why i even love you.
But i want to know if you feel the same too.
Then we could get to know wach other,
but that could come later.
I just need you to tell me,
if you think we'd make it.
These were written not too long ago:
Those words spoken,
stabs just like the knife.
The hear that's broken,
it's so hard just to live this life.
The anger vented,
the life so broken.
The heart shattered,
by those words spoken.
The endless tears,
the unstoppable flow.
The last fear,
is the final blow.
The piercing sting,
makes hatred grow deeper.
They say it's nothing,
the pain enriches.
This life no one can understand,
the amount of pain one has to bear.
The heart no one can mend,
right now it feels like no one cares.
That's it for now, these are just some poems. The very first one is dedicated to ryl. I may not be the best or even be up to your expectations, but i like my poems the way they are and you don't need to like them. It's a way of expressing how i feel and the life around me. Forgive me if i made speeling errors or whatsoever. I think i should end here. Chao.
Oh. received 4 presents from frens today and 1 bdae letter. =)
thank ya'll.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
5:27 PM
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5:27 PM
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Thursday, May 17, 2007
Heyys! Woah. Today's the day where i officially turn 13! Yay? Well, Glad to hear/see people rmb my birthday! Okay... went to National Lib to watch "MoMo" it was kinda....deep? okay... i have no idea. just feeling a lil down. Everything's turning out the way i expected to them.. and i don't have a smile while saying/typing this. Okay...just gotta accept that fact. Stupid hp is down...can't call out and can't receive and send smses. ARGH! So frustrating larh! Nothing to do. Watched "Accepted", so darn nice. Nothing much special today. Just lots of "Happy Birthday Sarah!" and some even said "Oh my gosh! It's your birthday? i didn't know! Happy Birthday!" Lol. Kinda okay i guess. Having a three day birthday. Today is with my family, tml with my wonderful frens and Saturday, with the girls that i'm close/quite close to at Cath class(at ECP). So... yeah! Can't wait to see what type of cake my Dad's going to buy. As usual, my dearest godfather must be too busy to wish me Happy Birthday. Or...i can't receive his sms/call if he contacts me....a lot of ppl won't be able to do so....my phone's down...and i don't know why...okay. can't wait to see what's going to happen later in the night and tml...and tml tml! The thing i'm most curious about is, Nicole told me that a lot of ppl will be giving me presents! I don't know who, and she doesn't want to tell me either! So i really want to find out who are the 'a lot of ppl'. Lol.Oh. it's a shocker that 'Rocker Twin' rmbered my Birthday. so darn touched. Love my friends! gtg, chao!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
3:56 PM
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3:56 PM
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Heyy!
I'm feeling so much 'lighter' and happier then usual. TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY! Really excited! Can't wait to see what's in store for me tml and what may happen on Friday! Besides checking of exam scripts. This is simply soooooo exciting! Gosh. Wonder what pressies i'll be getting. Received quite a number of hong bao's. Lol. Well, got no pictures yet. will upload some when i'm not lazy. haha. going out soon to select another maid. bleghs. torturous mann. Chinese tution at 6. Feeling so sleepy. It seems that i can never get a good sleep. EArly in the morning i will either be woken up by my mum, my sis, my small brother or THE PHONE! It seriously is annonying! i wanna sleep in!!!! Can't wait for Friday! And oh! Saturday! will be having Games Day thingy for cathecism. Lol. Lots of pictures will be taken i suppose. Well, that's all for now.
Chaos!~
the words have no colour cos sth wrong with the blogger on my com.=X
PRESSIES ON FRIDAY!!! YAY!! LOL. i feel really bad if Zoey or Abigail gave me a present or Suzanna! i Didn't get for them anything!!!!! Zoey, if you read this, don't get for me a present if you are! I feel really bad!!!!!!
okay. gotta go! going out soon!~ oh! did i mention that we bought Lilies for Mum on Mother's Day! It was Sean's and Aaron's idea. It gives off a really strong smell...i don't really like. okay. gtg eat lunch! Can't wait for tml and tml tml!~
okay. better stop. chao!~
I'm feeling so much 'lighter' and happier then usual. TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY! Really excited! Can't wait to see what's in store for me tml and what may happen on Friday! Besides checking of exam scripts. This is simply soooooo exciting! Gosh. Wonder what pressies i'll be getting. Received quite a number of hong bao's. Lol. Well, got no pictures yet. will upload some when i'm not lazy. haha. going out soon to select another maid. bleghs. torturous mann. Chinese tution at 6. Feeling so sleepy. It seems that i can never get a good sleep. EArly in the morning i will either be woken up by my mum, my sis, my small brother or THE PHONE! It seriously is annonying! i wanna sleep in!!!! Can't wait for Friday! And oh! Saturday! will be having Games Day thingy for cathecism. Lol. Lots of pictures will be taken i suppose. Well, that's all for now.
Chaos!~
the words have no colour cos sth wrong with the blogger on my com.=X
PRESSIES ON FRIDAY!!! YAY!! LOL. i feel really bad if Zoey or Abigail gave me a present or Suzanna! i Didn't get for them anything!!!!! Zoey, if you read this, don't get for me a present if you are! I feel really bad!!!!!!
okay. gotta go! going out soon!~ oh! did i mention that we bought Lilies for Mum on Mother's Day! It was Sean's and Aaron's idea. It gives off a really strong smell...i don't really like. okay. gtg eat lunch! Can't wait for tml and tml tml!~
okay. better stop. chao!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
1:26 PM
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1:26 PM
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Saturday, May 12, 2007
Heyys. Feeling lost. really lost. anyway, today i went fr my dental appointment, nothing new. Went home, watched TV Beethoven's 2nd. WEnt to Funan to pick up my contacts and specs with Dad. Those were the two items that we planned to come back with only but my dad just couldn't resist looking at shades, he's got so many yet he still wants more, well, he does deserves it but...so many? well..i just helped him, but apparently there were none that was right for him. He got bored, forced me to sit down and try out some shades. Woah. So cool, everybody was attending to me. LOL. Tried many till i tried this black Ted Bakers' shades. Daddy bought them for me. Felt so guilty. But he insisted, said that it was to protect my eyes from the sun. Oh well. Birthday's coming in about 5 days time? haha. can't wait to see what my friends have planned for me. I already know what my parents will be doing for me, they're just going to say Happy Birthday. that's the most. Other than that, life still's no different from other days. My existence isn't important. The day i came isn't important too. My friends are the only ones who make me feel my existence is important in one way or another. That's one reason why i love them so much. can't wait for the pressies! hee. okay. nothing much now, till then. Chaos!~
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
6:16 PM
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6:16 PM
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Friday, May 11, 2007
Heyy.
i've decided to blog. but i have NO MOOD to post any pictures. so sorry that'll all it'll be for a few days will be words....i'm just really pissed off with life. Seems like all is quite alright for my friends. For me, nothing's going right in my family. i am totally out of tears, can't cry anymore. Not cause i'm okay..nevermind. I really feel so out of place...don't know what to do. Life's just so wrong. I hate living..it's so painful..i'm breaking down. i don't show it in school. i try to pretend everything's alright. Mid-Year's are here. so is stress. so much so that nobody would realise how i feel is not how i look on the outside. No one will understand what i go through..nobody knows...nobody cares. I hate her! i just really hate her! She scolds me for everything i do! I can never please her! i Hate her!!! I'm practically a loner in school...though it don't show...i know so. i feel so darn left out and it's all because of her! She ruins my life! i want her to get out of my life! i want to live without her! She's tearing my whole world apart! I can't stand life! It's seriously so unbearable!!! I am so lost...i don't know what to do..i don't want to care about her. I am truly sure that i hate her! With all the insults and words she speaks, my hatred for her grows deeper each day. She critises my every move. I don't care about her, she's nothing, always venting her anger on me though not physically but it's just as bad. Imagine some annoying freak nagging and scolding and reprimading you and bringing your friends in! She even doesn't care if i become a loner! If i ever become a loner i will kill myself! My friends keep me standing...all this is just too much for one to handle...No one would ever understand what i go through...the slaps that leave the stinging pain. the tears that refuse to clear. the pain too much for one to bear. All too much for one heart to carry alone. Swimming, dancing and writing poetry are the only ways to relieve the pain for a while. It will never be gone because everytime it's gone she just adds on and it comes back. Thinks she's what we depends on to live on.
I wish there was someone who would understand what i really go through. No one can. sad yet true. but what can i do...
Love's gone and hurt's here to stay.
and i know it'll be long.
i've decided to blog. but i have NO MOOD to post any pictures. so sorry that'll all it'll be for a few days will be words....i'm just really pissed off with life. Seems like all is quite alright for my friends. For me, nothing's going right in my family. i am totally out of tears, can't cry anymore. Not cause i'm okay..nevermind. I really feel so out of place...don't know what to do. Life's just so wrong. I hate living..it's so painful..i'm breaking down. i don't show it in school. i try to pretend everything's alright. Mid-Year's are here. so is stress. so much so that nobody would realise how i feel is not how i look on the outside. No one will understand what i go through..nobody knows...nobody cares. I hate her! i just really hate her! She scolds me for everything i do! I can never please her! i Hate her!!! I'm practically a loner in school...though it don't show...i know so. i feel so darn left out and it's all because of her! She ruins my life! i want her to get out of my life! i want to live without her! She's tearing my whole world apart! I can't stand life! It's seriously so unbearable!!! I am so lost...i don't know what to do..i don't want to care about her. I am truly sure that i hate her! With all the insults and words she speaks, my hatred for her grows deeper each day. She critises my every move. I don't care about her, she's nothing, always venting her anger on me though not physically but it's just as bad. Imagine some annoying freak nagging and scolding and reprimading you and bringing your friends in! She even doesn't care if i become a loner! If i ever become a loner i will kill myself! My friends keep me standing...all this is just too much for one to handle...No one would ever understand what i go through...the slaps that leave the stinging pain. the tears that refuse to clear. the pain too much for one to bear. All too much for one heart to carry alone. Swimming, dancing and writing poetry are the only ways to relieve the pain for a while. It will never be gone because everytime it's gone she just adds on and it comes back. Thinks she's what we depends on to live on.
I wish there was someone who would understand what i really go through. No one can. sad yet true. but what can i do...
Love's gone and hurt's here to stay.
and i know it'll be long.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
8:57 PM
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8:57 PM
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Friday, May 04, 2007
Heyys! Woah. Totally crazy, feeling low yet happy. Hatred's growing in me. argh. need to relax. but can't. anyway, yesturday i went to talk with Zoey, she brought her cousin's dog Happy while i brought Sky, and to compete to see who's da alpha dog they actually fought until we broke them apart! It was kinda scary! Sky was so angry that he actually scratched Happy! I was shocked.....Sky's a coward really...OH! i sooooooo HATE Ms Kuku!!! She punished me for no reason! That unreasonable annoying woman!!!! argh! Keeps teaching the same old thing and all she does is scolds the students!!!! Anyway, glad she didn't have any lessons with us today. I'm feeling sian-ish...Lol....Dunno what to do...well...no mood to blog anymore. chaos.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
6:19 PM
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6:19 PM
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Heyys! Woah. Totally crazy, feeling low yet happy. Hatred's growing in me. argh. need to relax. but can't. anyway, yesturday i went to talk with Zoey, she brought her cousin's dog Happy while i brought Sky, and to compete to see who's da alpha dog they actually fought until we broke them apart! It was kinda scary! Sky was so angry that he actually scratched Happy! I was shocked.....Sky's a coward really...OH! i sooooooo HATE Ms Kuku!!! She punished me for no reason! That unreasonable annoying woman!!!! argh! Keeps teaching the same old thing and all she does is scolds the students!!!! Anyway, glad she didn't have any lessons with us today. I'm feeling sian-ish...Lol....Dunno what to do...well...no mood to blog anymore. chaos.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
6:19 PM
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6:19 PM
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Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Heyys! Wow. Okay. Was totally zonked today again. First period was geography, went thro same chapter AGAIN! almost fell asleep, next was Science, went through first chapt, almost fell asleep, had to draw on my hand to keep myself awake! Break, nothing much. Chinese next, no chinese drama lesson! YAY! but had to act out in front of everybody, was the narrator...story was senseless. =X Home E, Mrs Ang didn't come, slacked. Maths next, nothing much happened. Was totally random today. Went home. nothing much already. well, that's all for now! chaos.
can't wait for Saturday!!!!!
can't wait for Saturday!!!!!
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
9:01 PM
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9:01 PM
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Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Heya! WOW. It's really weird waking up on a weekday and feeling so free. So many things running through my mind. Listening to songs and looking for new ones. I can't wait! My brother's really fun frens that i know are coming, this Saturday is a def 100% FUN FILLED day. Plus Natalia's coming over and we'll be going to Cathecism together. oh! i hope Liz will come and Hazel. Doubt any of them will stay for dinner....gonna be a loner again after cathecism. Predictable. Siblings will leave me out definitely. They'll be mingling with da rest while i'm going to be in my room being anti social. Will be designing Sean's cake, told him if he makes one wrong move this week his cake will be weird and ugly. I love my brother. Me and him are really close. When we were young especially, but we're still close now. Sunday will be going to watch Phantom Of The Opera, really happy! I'm gonna take pictures of my brother's party for him. Can't wait for Saturday and Sunday! Okay, that's all for now. Have to write reflections. but too lazy!!! Chao.
♥ And did I tell you that I love you tonight
1:10 PM
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1:10 PM
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